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Monday, May 16, 2011

Why Does Michael Bay Need To Crap On My Dreams- Problems In the Transformers Movies

WHY? Is it too much to ask…. I don’t think it is. All I wanted out of these movies were three things, cool robots, Devastator, and the DINOBOTS!!!!! Anybody that loves the Transformers loves the Dinobots. I have been waiting for these movies since I was a little kid maybe that’s why this is a bit of an issue for me. But I need to ask the question,”Why do you need to crap on my dreams Michael Bay?” If it was only me then that wouldn’t be too big of a deal but its not just me, everyone thinks that it would be the coolest thing ever if the dinobots were in these movies. It would be like Jurassic Park meets Transformers and it would be super epic. Alas, it shall not be, thanks Mr. Bay.

It started with the first movie, one word, Jazz. Jazz is one of the coolest characters in the cartoon but the Bay(that’s what I’m calling him from here on out) decided that he would destroy that character. Jazz was an awesome character and the Bay turned him into what Bumble Bee was in the cartoon, a little guy that is almost defenseless against any Decepticon. Even in the comic book Jazz was a special forces veteran and nobody could touch him even though he was a little guy. The Bay took all of that stuff and destroyed it in about 10 seconds of footage near the end of the first movie, once again thanks a lot Mr. Bay.

Before I continue I just need to say that I love these movies and I am glad that there is something where there could be nothing, these are just my personal problems with the artistic liberties that should never have been taken.

The second movie had a problem in it that I couldn’t overlook…. Devastator. Devastator combining was the coolest scene, other than robots dying, in the cartoon movie and he was not done justice in the live action movie. I am not asking for each robot to have a personality and a back story but have a little respect for the Devastator that we grew up with. This Devastator had balls….. Really? He had two swinging wrecking balls as testicles….. Really? I’m all for potty humor (you know how true that is if you follow me on twitter @smellyfingertee) but there is a point where you are just reaching for a joke and now it its on childrens toys. Childrens toys have balls….. Thank you Mr. Bay.

The upcoming movie Transformers 3 Dark of the moon got my hopes up and let me down already. I am really looking forward to the movie but the bird that they show during the preview got my hopes up that it was Swoop from the Dinobots. Turns out it was Laser Beak which is cool but not as cool as it would have been if it was Swoop. But that is not going to stop me from watching it.

I cant wait to see this movie so once again Thank you Mr. Bay!

1 comment:

  1. OK, Willy.... you know I would give the t-shirt off my back to some poor sucker without a pot to piss in.... And another thing, I used to work in the sewer business. I wore a t-shirt that read: "Your shit is my bread and butter."