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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Life Is A Math Problem

I have been thinking about life a lot lately, it happens every now and then. Nobody ever tells you what your supposed to do or why your supposed to do it. Your expected to know how to do it and the truth is nobody really does. But like all problems I think they can be related to math on some level. So here is what I have been thinking about, Life is a math problem. Its really simple but it pretty much comes out to A+B=C, obviously those are all variables but I want to try to make some sense out of it.

A= you
That is the first variable and the last variable should be pretty easy to come up with.
C= the goal in your life
The last variable is the end result you want out of life, like becoming a mechanic, nurse, or old.
B= all the work you will have to do to become what ever it is you want to become
This seems pretty self explanatory but in this equation A+B should equal C.

The problem with this equation is that there are 2 variables and neither can be defined if C is not defined. In short if you don’t know what your goal is in life living it is gonna be really hard. Many people fall into life and stumble across B long before A and never really know what C is. Most of the people that get somewhere in life get there because they had a destination in mind. All you need is A and C after that B will reveal itself.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Action Figure Silent Movies- Episode 1

Well, heres the first hopefully in a long line of stop motion animations.  I hope you enjoy it! Leave comments with what you think of it. 

Episode 1- Feeling Frisky
Looks like Prime has a hard time getting dates.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

A Little Story About A Boy Called Nancy- Part 2

Now that Nancys father is gone what o what will they do? There was a knock at the door, “O Joy” Nancys mother cheered, “Emily is here.” Emily was a sister in law but she was no regular sister in law, Emily had a heart of gold. Nancys mother and Emily sat on the couch and talk for hours and hours, Emily listened to all of their problems. “What o what will we do, Emily” Nancys mother asked, “my parents are old and can only take care of themselves, we are a burden on them.”

Emily had an idea and it was a doozy, “Why don’t you get a job?” Emily asked. Nancys mother had not even thought about it because she liked to blame all her problems on other people. “I will baby sit for you while your at work” Emily explained “I have to stay home with my baby anyway I can take care of yours too.” This was not good news for Nancys mother because she would miss all her shows and be tired a lot.

“Okay, that’s what I’ll do.” Nancys mother said with hesitation.

The first day Nancys mother went to Emilys house and knocked on the door, Emily opened the door but she was not alone. A little boy with only a pamper on and nice head of combed hair peeked out from behind Emilys dress. Emily took Nancy in her arms and brought him into her home, Emilys son did not know why there was a baby interfering with his mommy time but he was happy to have a new friend.

It was lunchtime and Emily loved to feed people so much her husband had grown a nice little tummy that Emilys son loved to jump on. Emily began to feed Nancy but Nancy was now about 18 months old and he still loved throwing fits. Nancy screamed and yelled no matter how delicious the food was, he was so much trouble for Emily but she never ran out of patience with him. He didn’t like when he wasn’t the center of attention so he became jealous of Emilys son for getting some of Emilys attention. Emilys son still wanted to be friends with Nancy but Nancy only wanted his toys. Emilys son was not as patient as Emily because Nancy tried and tried to steal toys him but he would always get caught. Emilys son did not like Nancy at all because he was kleptomaniac.

“Stop” Emilys son would yell but Nancy would not. This went on for months but Nancy only cared about taking his toys so Emilys son began to stand up for himself. The last day Nancy tried to take a Chuck Norris action figure that Emilys son love more than any of his other toys so Emilys son did what Chuck Norris would do, he snatched the toy out of Nancys pocket and pushed him down and Yelled “NO!!” as loud as he could. Nancy fell to the floor and began to cry and throw a fit but Nancy never tried to steal from Emilys son again.

Stay tuned for more about A Boy Called Nancy

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

How To Talk Your Way Out Of Any Situation

The first rule of getting out of a bad situation is staying out of a bad situation. Other than that your probably going to need to learn how to talk to people. I was fortunate in being the youngest in my family, I saw what my bother and sister did wrong and I learned from it. The things that I learned were very useful in manipulating my parents into getting what I wanted. There are many ways of doing this, there is guilt, positive reinforcement, pushing, threats, identifying, and just plain being funny. There are more but you get the point. Here’s how I like to do it.

Identifying is my absolute favorite coupled with being funny. Now that never worked with the parents but it works wonders on past bosses and cops. When you get down to it bosses and cops are the hardest audiences because if they don’t like you, well , your just screwed. Everybody hates work even if you love your job your tired at the end of the day, so that’s always a good one to use with the cops. When it comes to a boss or someone else your just gonna have to fish around for something you have in common or use the job or whatever place you happen to be. This is how a usual traffic stop works with me:

Cop- license and registration
Me- there you go
Cop- do you know why I pulled you over?
Me- No sir (the key is to not appear worried at this point)
Cop- Your registration sticker is out of date (I was rollin 2 years without updating because I’m a rebel)
Me- what sticker? (always act like you don’t know what he’s talking about)
Cop- this sticker right here is from 2 years ago (get close to the sticker like you have bad eyes)
Me- are you serious? (once again act like you just found out)
Me- I’ll take care of that after work, I’m already running late…(a little guilt sprinkled in with some you know whats that’s like right? It also helps to keep messing with your hair and forehead to imply worry about work and a ticket)
Cop- well, I’ll go ahead and let you off with a warning (I always take that serious because I’m not gonna take a chance if this guys has a great memory)
Me- thank you so much officer, can I get a note for work… haha just kidding (its stupid but It hopefully makes him laugh, it lets him know you’re a nice person and he did a good thing… maybe he‘ll do it more)

That is how I deal with cops, usually helps but stay tuned for more tips.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Well, Hi There

I just wanted to take today to say to my readers, Thank You very much for reading my blog. I appreciate each and every person that reads what I write. If you enjoy the blog check out the Smelly Finger Tshirt store by clicking one of the links on this page. If you ever want to say whats up or even drop an idea for a tweet, blog, or even a shirt don’t hesitate to drop me an tweet or a comment either on my blog or on Ebay. Hope to hear from you guys soon….. Peace out.


Monday, July 4, 2011

A Little Story About A Boy Called Nancy

Once upon a time there was a boy who was the first born of his family. His parents looked at him and they were full of pride and astonishment that their genetic material could come together and make a somewhat normal looking person. The father was so full of pride he decided to give his new son his name, which made the new baby a JR but they called him Nancy because everyone thought he was a girl. Soon the happy family went home and began their new life together.

As Nancy grew in months his father also grew tired of Nancy. The new baby smell had worn off and Nancys cries began to weigh on his father, so his father sought comfort at the rooster fights. Oh how Nancys father loved the rooster fights, like gladiators roosters would fight to the death for the entertainment of the poorly educated onlookers. Nancys father would stand there waving his betting ticket in the air with excitement as he watched his rooster of choice lose every time. Just like Nancy the rooster fights also began to lose their luster but only when he would lose most of his money, so in an attempt to raise his own spirits he went to the bar. The bar was a magical for Nancys father because the more his button up shirt was open, exposing his thick and coarse chest hair, the more the skanky women loved him. He would even put on a gold chain so the skanks could be mesmerized by the amount of money his chest hair possessed. Late one night Nancys father came stumbling in the house with his shirt open so much it was only held on by his belt, like a hula skirt.

“Where have you been?” Nancys mother exclaimed
“Hey…..HEY!!! He protested pulling a stray thick and curly hair from his mouth.
“Is that what I think it is? That is so gross!” she muttered.
“You know what this is…..?” He paused to try to think up a lie but the alcohol had already destroyed the only good brain cells that could make good decisions. “this” he motioned to the hair “this is an outrage, your not God!!”

Frustrated, Nancys mother went to their bedroom and opened the window so the man she was with could leave and then she grabbed her Rainbow Bright backpack and filled it with her clothes. She put on her matching Rainbow Bright shoes and threw Nancy over her shoulder. On her way out she stopped and glared at Nancys father for a second then stormed out of the house, got in her car and left. She quickly returned home, they lived in her parents house so she handed the Rainbow Bright backpack and keys to the car to him and told him to leave. All she had left was her baby and a closet full of Nancys fathers clothes.

Stay tuned for more about A Boy Called Nancy.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Cartooning Example

This is not an original drawing.  I am drawing this for my nephew because he asked me for a bumblebee like he was handing out homework.  I'm happy to draw it for him.  I wanted to take the chance to show this drawing because its just a simple line drawing at this point.  I did not come up with this pose this is drawn form a picture I found on the internet. 

For anyone who has been reading my cartooning articles, notice all the lines.  All drawings can be broken down to simple shapes and lines.  I wanted to use this Bumblebee to show that.  Robots are a great example of shapes coming together to make a figure.

Check it out, examine it, and break it down. Happy cartooning!!