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Thursday, June 30, 2011

What’s In A Name- Sentinel Prime ?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." -Shakespeare

I got to see the movie Transformers 3 Dark of the Moon yesterday, was it a cool movie, yes it was. I went into this movie with the hopes that someone awesome would show up that I didn’t know about. It happened, at the very beginning of the movie they show a quick shot of a red guy with a beard and I think, “No way I had no idea Alpha Trion was gonna be in this movie!” I was wrong Alpha Trion was not in the movie they decided to change his name to Sentinel Prime. This irked me for 2 reasons, first Sentinel Prime is a character from the animated cartoon, second this character already has a name and its Alpha Trion. I know this is a nerd concern and I don’t like to nit pick movies but COME ON Michael Bay, have a little creative respect for the fans.

I did love all the little shout outs to the old cartoon. The way the ship was crashed into the moon looked exactly like the way the ship was stuck in the mountain in the original series. Those ships they used at the end of the movie looked like Scattershot from the Technobots. But I thought the coolest one was the space ship that looked like Omega Supreme, I was sitting there with my fingers crossed that it would transform but I forgot that Michael bay HATES ME!!

All in all the movie was decent but it wasn’t mind blowing like it should have been.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Woulda Coulda Shoulda

I hate it when I’m talking to someone and then I don’t get to say or don’t think to say what it is I really want to say. I’m sure its not just me, smooth talkin some hottie and then you somehow manage to get your size 12 foot to fit right in your mouth, you coulda got her number. Maybe that’s not the problem maybe the problem is your buddy is really sensitive but he smells like pickles. You want to tell him he smells like pickles but you don’t because your probably going to hurt his feelings, you shoulda told him. If you cant relate to either of those examples then you must be the one that sees an opportunity and doesn’t take it. There is nothing sadder than the woulda, it still makes angry to think of all the wouldas in my life. In the spirit of the trifecta of the would, coulda, shoulda I would like to share a few thoughts that I have always wanted to say but all names shall be removed, I’ll let you guess what the context of each can be.
“dude your earwax is so bad its coming out of your ear….. I’m looking right at it.”
“nobody believes you had sex with anyone because you always smell like poop”
“holy crap, now heres a guy that doesn’t have a mirror at home”
“I’m not hungry anymore because I had to sit here looking at your face, what was I thinking”
“why do these guys keep talking about the size of their penis”
“damn you, that chin up counted you smelly pecker”
“that is an ugly baby but what else can you make with those genetics”
“I’m gonna tell these parents I’m a sex offender just so they don’t leave their kid with me”
“I wonder if she can tell I look at her boobs every time she looks away”
“I bet he has herpes”
“oh no he’s gonna give her herpes”
“is it just me or do strippers love dollar bills like Klondike bars”
“peeing on myself could be worse oh wait theres a puddle”

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Hall Pass - Review

Today, this is gonna be short and sweet. Today I saw a movie called Hall Pass. This movie is supposed to be a comedy, it has its funny moments but I would put this movie in a section called “ha ha we fooled you thanks for the money.” I don’t like to give negative reviews to movies but it has been a real long time since a movie has angered me so much. It seems like this movie was written by a man hater who doesn’t understand how evolution ever took place without a woman overseeing everything. Don’t get me wrong I am very equal opportunity I believe women are just as stupid as men, on the flip side I also believe that men are just as smart as women and I cant stand it when people imply otherwise. This movie craps all over men but not just being dumb, I know we’re dumb, but being weak. This seemed like a personal attack so here is what I think.

There is a scene in this movie where the men just got caught doing something stupid and are now sitting in the back seat while the mother figures sit in the front seats and stop on the side of the road and begin to yell at their child like husbands. I will try to be clear on my opinion about this, any woman that treats their husband like this, regardless if he deserves it, just needs to get divorced. There is never a reason to talk down to anyone, I mean come on who do you think you are. Now to the man who lets his woman talk to him like this, you need to pick up your skirt grab your balls and start acting like a man. A man doesn’t need to talk down to a woman to be a man but if he gets talked down to like a child you don’t get to call yourself a man.

After the guys get their Hall Pass they try to go out and get chicks and obviously don’t know where to go to find a chick to sleep with, what the hell. These guys are so pathetic they go to Applebees to look for girls, which is funny, but what guy in their right mind would ever do that if he actually wanted to sleep with someone. I understand that the theme of this movie is for the guys to realize that they really don’t want to sleep with someone else but it also has almost nothing to do with love. Its more like not wanting to ruin something that has been built. A real man never gives up this much power in a relationship, these guys have practically castrated themselves as an offering on the alter of their wives vagina. PATHETIC!!!

The greatest statement of prevention of any of this is something I heard a long time ago, the man said, “we have a deal, if she ever doesn’t want me around all she has to do is tell me and I will leave with just the clothes on my back.” That is a MAN.

I hated this movie it gets 1 smelly finger and I bet you can guess which finger it is!!!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Thoughts During A Trip To The Post Office

Today I had to run to the Post Office to mail some shirts that were ordered, check it out. Standing in any line is always kind of weird but there is something different about the Post Office. There were just so many things going through my head I thought I would share some of them.

Walking in the front doors the old lady in front of me held the door open and let it go about 1 or 2 seconds before I got there.
“Is that still holding the door for me” “if I say thank you, is that going to sound sarcastic because its not holding the door for me” “ Maybe she is letting the door go because she doesn’t respect me” “I bet she doesn’t respect me because I’m wearing my X-Men shirt” “who doesn’t like the X-Men, its about social equality” “maybe she’s a racist” “I’ll fight a racist” “hitting an old lady would look bad on a resume” “what if I put, racist old lady, that would look better” “ why would I put that on a resume” “they might ask what the felony is for” “ I could say the felony is for standing up for my Mexican people”After I finally got in the door I had to stand in the line with the old lady in front of me and a freckle filled hottie behind me.
“Is that chick behind me hot?” “yup she sure is” “I’m gonna pretend I’m looking outside to get a better look” “whoa she has a lot of freckles” “I wonder if I have a shot” “I bet my breath stinks” “yup it does” “Damn you X-Men for making me look nerdy” “I wonder if she likes the X-Men” “chicks that dig comic books are awesome” “Its been a long time since I’ve gone to the comic book store” “oh look I think she’s married” “creeping her out is still an option, that’s always fun” “I could stand shoulder to shoulder with and ask have you ever wondered how close is too close when your standing in line”Its my turn……

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Stop Motion Animation- Test 1 Devastator

I realize this is not the real devastator its a cheap knock off I got from a Wal-Mart.  This is only a test still trying to work some kinks out and maybe add some audio next time.  Yes that is my dirty desk, in the background, you would think I would clean up first but I didnt think about it until the video was done.  Hope you enjoy it!!!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

A Letter To A Lady At Wal-Mart

The other day coming home from the movies I decided to go to Wal-Mart to pick up some things, the process was like it usually is, you know, painful. Everything you need is like half a block from each other and when you finally jog a mile to get all 3 things it is that you need now you have to deal with the check out process. I like to go to self check out just because there is no one there usually but this time, of course, there were 3 people and the first person acted like this was the first day without a loin cloth. Fumbling and stumbling around those stupid machines and yet getting no where, so what’s the brilliant idea I had, 20 items or less, but the person in front of you never has less. When I get in the new line the first person in the other line finally finishes, but I’ve gone too far to turn back now. Everything seems like its clear sailing to the car but the evil entity known as Wal-Mart still had one more trick up her shrewish sleeve. I was putting my things in the car and as usual gonna leave the basket out of the way in a big empty striped spot between the handicapped parking signs, totally out of anyones way. Then this lady, that I can only describe as small and skinny with big sunglasses, brings her shopping cart and just leaves it behind my car. I have to reverse to get out of the space and this stupid inconsiderate super skank looked at me and left it behind my car. I may have yelled a thing or two at her but nothing with real impact. So in the spirit of being a nice guy the following letter is for her and anyone that would ever do such a blatantly rude thing.

Dear Lady at Wal-Mart

Why did you put your basket right behind my car while I was standing there? Is it because someone wronged you? Were you molested as a child or perhaps beaten by your foster parents? If you were in a hurry you could have asked me and I would have put it away for you but you didn’t. You chose to go out of your way to make someone elses day just a little bit worse for no reason. I don’t hate you, as a matter of fact I pitty you because small minds think in small ways. If I were a different person or in a really bad mood I would have taken that basket back to your car and picked it up and thrown it at you, but I try to be a nice person. I am not angry but just need clarification, I don’t understand people that do things like that. I don’t think you’re a bad person but I think if that behavior continues you stand a real good chance of meeting some nice guy on a day that he isn’t feeling so nice.

The Nice guy with a Smelly Finger

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Comedy Heavyweights - Al Madrigal

There are some people that are just born to do what they do, Al Madrigal was a born comedian. I first saw this guy on a dvd with a bunch of other comics who have had way more exposure. Al Madrigal went first and completely stole the show at the beginning, everyone else was funny but this guy had that special thing that makes their comedy last. He is still what people consider an up and comer but he is one of the funniest comedians that I have ever heard. Mexican comedy is usually where Mexican comedians end up, but this guy has a unique style and doesn’t rely on his own race to make his comedy work.

The unique observations of Al Madrigal make hit one of the funniest young comedians that I have ever heard. Storytelling is also one of this mans many talents, the stories that he tells about him and his family are fantastic. Much of his comedy is inspired by his wife and his children and his observations of them. His latest album, that is only semi released, he isn’t happy with it because of a stupid audience member, but can be found on his website for real cheap, Cholos on a Moped is a great piece of work. Even including the “Oh guy” in the audience this album is so hilarious I recommend it to anyone that loves to laugh.

Remember the name of Al Madrigal he just got on the Daily show so keep an eye out for this comedic force

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Art of Making People Like You

Remember the good ol days when all it took was an extra cookie in your lunch box. As an adult those days are over, unless you have a cookie I can have, and you have to use something else, jokes. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. Have you ever met a nice person just to find out that they are dryer than beef jerky, always a sad day. Even the evil boss that hates everybody, it almost makes this art a necessity for the career minded. But there are no universal rules it all depends on the kind of friends your trying to make.

If your very opinionated and wonder why no one likes you, you don’t have to look any further than the things you say. The first rule of getting people to like you is keeping your big mouth shut.(this doesn’t go for everyone just the people who qualify for the opinion Olympics) I grew up a shy kid and I found out that most people form an opinion of you before you say anything. This strategy tends to work in the long run because the people that come up to you are very likeable people. Being friends with a well known good person puts you on peoples good side as soon as they associate them with you. For now lets not focus on the passive approach.

Favors are a great way to make friends. I remember someone saying to me, “ that guys is awesome because whenever he has money he will buy.” This was a foreign concept to me because I lived in the world where everyone should like you for no other reason than being a great person. I have done social experiments with the favor or the “cookie method” as I like to call it. The method is very easy, find a person you would like to be friends with strike up a conversation and pay for lunch(or whatever meal it is, you know what I mean). Suddenly when this person thinks of you they associate you with something positive just like a kid giving you a cookie and then becoming friends. Positive reinforcement is the real term but still works as long as you can keep conversation cool and casual.

Stay tuned for more tips on How to make people like you.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Green Lantern - Quick Review

This movie had the potential to be really bad and there were a lot of people that were expecting it to be, I just might even have been one of those people. I was wrong. Green Lantern was a great summer blockbuster. There were parts that seemed a bit neglected but overall was a great movie. Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan makes a great Green Lantern. I love reading the Green Lantern comics but sometimes 2 hours just isn’t enough time to truly do justice to a character or group of characters that already have a very loyal fan base(but hey, I’m happy I got to see a Green Lantern movie)

The graphics were so amazing with characters like Sinestro and Kilowog(two of my favorites…. Poozer). Character design was something I was interested in seeing when I went to see this movie. We all know what the characters look like in the comic book but I wanted to see what they looked like when a computer animator was going for realistic, they did not dissapoint. I loved the way the Guardians, Green Lanters, and Oa looked. Hal Jordan training was probably one of the cooler parts of the movie, getting a chance to see Kilowog push around the soon to be great Hal Jordan. Sinestro even got his hand in there and destroyed the constructs of Hal and pushed him to the point of quitting.

The Green Lantern corps is always a source of inspiration for loyal fans, the basic idea is having an iron will creates infinite possibilities, and that’s something anyone, not just comic book nerds, can believe in.

PS - stay for the credits its really cool.

I give this movie 5 Smelly Fingers because it wasn’t the best acted movie but it’s a need to see for this comic nerd.


Saturday, June 18, 2011

Honduran Job 4

The Honduran Job strip number 4.  The guys are getting ready to do thier comedy show.  I hope you enjoy my webcomic.

Comedy Heavyweights - Maria Bamford

This is my absolute favorite female comedian. She has got to be the craziest female comedian there is and the most innovative. She incorporates characters like her family and enemies while doing voices but its not the same cheesy thing that others do, this has its own special ring to it. She makes the characters come alive with facial expressions and voice. She speaks of real life from her unique perspective while making the most mundane observations hilarious. She also pokes fun a lot at the different types of females and the standards that society pushes on today’s women. I would describe her style as silly and cutting.

She was in the Comedians of Comedy where she killed it and made herself a stand out in a group of stand outs. Female comics have a hard time in their industry because like all of show business its all biased toward a certain type of person but Maria Bamford uses hilarity to break down the walls that might discriminate against her.

Maria Bamford is a bit of an unknown comic but she is someone that I hope can make her way into the mainstream. So if you have never heard of her I would encourage you to listen to her as soon as possible because she is one of the greatest.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Comedy Heavyweights - Bill Burr

This guy should go down as one of the greats. Bill Burr manages to do what almost no white guy can do and that is make fun of race. Anyone else that has ever attempted this usually crashes and burns. Bill Burr can talk about race and give it an angle that you haven’t heard yet and make it really funny. There is an edge to this guy that makes him not only cool but a bit dangerous. I don’t usually like comedians that talk about the difference between men and women but the angle that Bill Burr takes releases men as the monsters and calls out women on the truths that men aren’t usually willing to point out. It sounds a bit cliché but the way he pulls it off is unlike anyone else.

It is also nice to see a male comedian other than Joe Rogan to actually be a guy not just some feminine guy that would yell “I don’t know how to fight I’m a comedian.” Just like the others that I have put on my Comedy Heavyweights list Bill Burr doesn’t just lead you down a road of chuckles but he exposes you to an entire range of emotions all the while laughing your butt off. His take no prisoners style and fearlessness makes Bill Burr someone that you need to listen to if you have not yet. His dvds are hit hard and side splitting humor. The anger he holds in comes out in his comedy and gives it an extra dimension of hilarity. He also has a great pod cast called The Monday Morning Podcast where its pretty much just Bill Burr ranting into a microphone in his living room or whichever room he happens to be in, I only subscribe to about 5 pod casts and the MM pod cast is one of them. If you don’t know who this is check him out…. hurry go.
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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Super 8 - Quick Review

Right out of the gate this movie is about some friends trying to make a movie and everything intertwines with an Air Force disaster. With that said this is a great movie and I personally loved it. This movie felt like an episode of the Twilight Zone. (the old black and white one not the crappy 80s version) It created such an aura of nostalgic longing for the innocence of childhood movie making. The characters were solid for being a child cast, finding this much talent in such small packages must have been real difficult. Each character had their own special thing but the main characters battle with strength throughout the movie reaches a place we all hope we can reach in times of crisis.

Other than the great acting this movie had to offer there was story and graphics. Don’t get me wrong this is no Michael Bay movie(in other words story isn’t sacrificed to the god of graphics) but all the explosions and graphics are for a reason and have meaning. I will not describe the train wreck just know that this part of the movie more than fills the “graphics” quota necessary to qualify for a cool summer movie. This movie carried everything that I love in an episode of the Twilight Zone.(and I love the Twilight Zone)

Overall 5 Smelly Fingers- Great Movie….. Normally would have been 4 Smelly Fingers but the Twilight Zone feel gave it the extra finger.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Comedy Heavyweights - Marc Maron

This is a comedian full of anger and hate, a master of the comedic arts. Marc Maron is a comedy heavyweight because he knows how to bring an audience into his world of sadness on a cloud of happiness. He touches on everything from social issues to talking about his masturbating habits around his cats. He is a lesser known comedian because his comedy doesn’t really fit into a segment of society. He is not clearly racial, political, or anything else but he does what a real comedian can do and touch a common intrinsic string in the collective consciousness.

For anyone that has ever been self loathing Marc Maron is your voice. He says the things you want to say the way you want to say them. Self loathing is his fuel and pessimism is the fire it feeds. Marc Maron is the voice of the devil on your shoulder, he’s not the one that says your not good enough but it sounds like his voice. He brings you to the edge of depression as a guest and makes it so funny you can almost understand how he operates. At the end of his set you feel if he understood himself you would be able to understand him.

The way his comedy works is like how you would expect a peek into his mind to be. Anger, self loathing, but above all laughter. Its almost the view from the psychiatrists chair through a comedic lens. It is totally confessional and feels like a raw honesty. He doesn’t pull any punches and presents reality in his hilariously pessimistic perspective.

He also has a free podcast called WTF with Marc Maron, check it out.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Comedy Heavyweights - Doug Stanhope

At this moment Doug Stanhope has 43,349 followers on Twitter. Dane Cook has 1,782,936 and this is I wrong I want to help right. Nothing against Dane Cook, he just another flavor of comedian but he’s a flavor that isn’t for me. Doug Stanhope is a level of genius that is almost like listening to Carlin. I would hate to say that his observations are witty but that would just make him just another comic, so I don’t think that’s what makes him great.

What makes Doug Stanhope good enough to make him a comedy heavyweight? Great art elicits an emotional response, a comedian elicits an emotional response, by way of laughter, and a great comedian controls your emotions like symphony orchestra conductor. Doug Stanhope is a master of emotional repulsion during laughing, its really hard to gross someone out and make them laugh about some of the worst subjects. A comedians goal is to make the worst subjects funny but when has Jeff Foxworthy talked about date rape or made a pro abortion argument. Doug Stanhope can talk about anything and because of his intelligence and wit. He has the ability to talk about the most socially repulsive subjects, like abortion, rape, and suicide, and at the same time he is FUNNY.

Ps. If Doug Stanhope ever reads this….. You’re the Man.

Doug Stanhope just recently had an album released in May called Oslo - Burning the Bridge to Nowhere. I give it 5 Smelly Fingers.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Honduran Job 3

Here is the 3rd strip of the web comic Honduran Job.  All the others are black and white so i figured I would stick with it.  Hope you enjoy it.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Imaginary Exploits of Social Deprivation- Cage Fighter part 2

I’m at home and my heart is still racing, partly because I ran but mainly the adrenaline is almost too much to handle. I realize why my coach put me in that fight that could not possibly win. He wanted to start me at the bottom so I could work harder to reach an almost impossible goal. I have felt the rush of fighting and the cage will not be enough to hold my energy next time.

I wake up with a burning desire to get in the cage, to book a fight, but there is nothing I can do now but train. My hand hurts every time I move my fingers but its nothing too bad. I make my way down to the gym and start training with hunger in my heart and determination in my spirit.

3 months later (the is where the montage of working out and really hard training comes in….. think of Rocky)

I’m finally ready for my first amateur fight. I’m backstage and I cant hear anything just the sound of my own breathe. My heart is pounding and I cant sit still, my coach motions to me that I’m up. I walk out to reveal myself to the crowd, I don’t look up and cheers or boos do not matter at this point. The cage sits in clarity amongst the blur of all things that cannot enter my mind. I’m in the cage bouncing from foot to foot looking at the environment I was born for. Vibrations from my opponents footsteps run through my toes out of the blurry fog of the crowd comes a crystal clear opponent into the cage.

Its him, the guy from the bar, I see his mouth is moving but I still cant hear anything. He keeps pointing at me then the floor, the referee steps in the middle of the cage and the first sound I hear is “FIGHT!!” He comes charging at me, jumps for a flying superman punch I duck under and falls into the cage. I close in on him but he keeps me away with his jab. Bam, bam, bam, 3 unanswered hits to the face and my nose starts bleeding. I throw 2 half hearted jabs and he throws up a counter hook so I throw a roundhouse kick to the side of his face…. We both connect. We both go down for a moment, after he is up he is visibly shaken so I push the pace. I close in with jabs, hooks, and crosses. I uppercut him and he falls against the cage I’m about to punch him but the ref grabs me and pulls me away. The fight is over and I win.

Beep. 5 minutes is up time to stop hitting the bag for 1 minute. The story continues during the next round. Until next time stay tuned.
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Thursday, June 9, 2011

South Park - “Your Getting Old”

This episode was great, it touched on two subjects that I find very important in todays society. Moron Parents that don’t know how old they are and the completely cynical bastard that just has to destroy everything for everyone. Every now an then South Park has episodes like this one that just jump out at you because the show seems to get a little stale or complacent. I must say that this one really started to shake things up.

It all started with Stans Birthday, he got older and the hate for all things new kicked in when the hate for all things old should have gone away but didn’t. This thought, the person that hates everything and can let anyone enjoy anything at their core might be right but just hating everything is no way to live. I agree with the fact that sometimes you need to look through something to see its real effect but when you start doing that to everything you become the kind of person that needs to get hit by a car. Everything and everyone is full of crap that is a simple truth there is no debating that.

The dad in this episode is trying to show how young at heart he is but he doesn’t understand the music either. The writers hit this one right on the nose, dressing like an 18 year old over the age of about 35 begins to make you look like a douche. Trying to be something that you obviously don’t understand at such an older age is so sad but those guilty of this hilarious offense will never see themselves for what they really are….. Old.

I love this episode if you haven’t seen it, watch it.

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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Imaginary Exploits of Social Deprivation- Cage Fighter part 1

As far back as I can remember I have loved kung fu movies and stuff like that. Fighting has always interested me and I have even taken a tae kwon do class or 2. It’s a very primal thing, the need to protect or even the need to take but the one that still exists is the need for social stature. Fighting comes with a certain social status, just look at all those guys in those goofy shirts nobody tells them anything for the fear that they might know how to fight.

I watch a lot of Ultimate Fighter, I personally think its one of the coolest shows ever. it’s a show about guys beating each other up…. What else do you need for something to be cool. It inspires me to hit my punching bag and as I start so does my Imaginary Exploit due to my Social Deprivation.

My hands are wrapped, I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth every time my fist hit’s the bag. Sweat drips off my hair and down my face. “Time” my coach yells. He throws a towel at me and tells me its time for some ring time. I turn and look, I’m in a massive training facility. I jog to the cage, I’m pumped about getting a chance to punch somebody in the face. I cant see who it is, it just looks like a shadow.

“whats up kid” the shadow seemed to growl.

“hello” the lump in my throat said

“I’m not pulling punches so you better be ready” he roared

“I’m ready when you are” in childish disbelief said.

DING. We start stepping toward each other and as he steps out of the shadow I can see that this guy is twice my size and all muscle. Each punch felt like a brick hitting me in the head. Instinct kicks in and I start bobbing and weaving I punch him in the nose, we pause while my boxing glove is still on his face and I see his eyes turn toward me. He unleashes his fury on me uppercut to the stomach, left to the face, and he picks me up gets a running start and drops me on my back. A towel lands on my face.

“you have a lot of heart kid, that took a lot longer than it should have.” he admitted

“thanks” is all the breath I had left to say.

I get to the locker room with my gym clothes and my pride in my gym bag. I stay focused on the fight I just lost, why would I lose that fight if I wasn’t good enough. I go to the nearest bar to drown my sorrows. Just as I open the door I bump it in to someone standing near the door. The guy is taller than me by about 6 inches. “watch you step junior” he said

“calm down redneck” I muttered back

“what did you say to me?” he huffed

Just as he was about to grab me I pushed him. His fist comes straight toward me and hits me in the mouth, I stumble back and realize that the pain doesn’t hurt in the heat of the moment. So I come back with a punch in the stomach and a right hook to the side of his head and he went down. He was out and the bartender was on the phone so I ran out of there as fast as I could run.

To be continued ….. Stay tuned

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Lowriders of Death 2

I have never had the good times that I have had in my beloved 79 Buick Regal. This car was the cause of some of my greatest adventures. Being a backyard rig it up mechanic intensified the times of misfortune in my car. There is one lesson you must learn being a pathological switch hitting lowrider, never wear clothes that you don’t want to destroy.

One of my favorite stories doesn’t involve fire or terror but it makes me laugh when I think about it. I got my license at the age of 17 but it had restrictions and I practiced twice before I went and got it. Needless to say I didn’t know how to drive real well, I was working at the age of 16 and I got a car before I had a license. This created some problems when it came to dropping me off at work because I was in high school. My dad would drop me off all the time but after I got my car I would beg him to come get me in the lowrider.

This is also the time when I was learning how hydraulics worked and the ins and outs of hooking up a hydraulic system. I have this bad habit of finding things out the hard way. My hydraulic hoses were left just hanging when they were installed but I didn’t think much of it at the time, everything worked fine what could possibly go wrong. The hoses would drag on the ground when the car would sit too low but I didn’t drive it so what could happen in the back yard.

One day after work I called my dad to come pick me up and then I asked him if the car was working, he said it was so I asked him if he could bring it. After some haggling he agreed to drive the car to my job. As soon as he showed up everyone came out to see it. I picked up the switch box and gave my audience a show, front, back, side to side. As I was hitting the switch all of a sudden, “bzzzzzzzzz” and the left side of the car fell. At this point and time at its lowest the car would sit about 3 fingers off the ground. The sound was the left hose blowing open because the hoses were dragging for so long. I didn’t have a license so my dad would have to drive home which was on the other side of town. I lifted the other side of the car so the car wouldn’t be completely flat on the ground for the drive home.

The following drive home was full of awkward silences sprinkled between rants of “I Told You So” and burning stares of contempt as he glared up at me from the ground his side was stuck on. Hell, I love that story!

Monday, June 6, 2011

X-Men First Class- A Quick Review

The problems I had before are still the same problems but if there was something this movie showed is that this movie really isn’t about the students, its about the fathers of the mutant movements. I was pleasantly surprised with the quality of this movie, to be honest X-Men United was not so good a little too cartoony and compared to the other two just seemed kind of lacking and that made me afraid to watch this movie. The is a great movie but more than the acting the struggle between friends and ideals portrayed is amazing. What would you choose if you had to choose between a friend that’s as close as a brother and an ideal that could make the world a better place?

There is another dimension to this movie as well and that’s the struggle that every human has to endure and that is shown in two characters beast and mystique. These end up being the only two characters that hate their appearance which is something everyone goes through at some time or another and just a general need for acceptance. The X-Men have always been about social issues in our society and acceptance is a huge issue that affects all generations. I guess the X-Men just speaks to those of us that are “different.”

It was so cool to see the origins of Professor X and Erik Lensherr aka Magneto. When these two origins stories meet and the two of them become friends this movie takes a turn for the epic. The dynamic between these two is awesome and to know how good of friends they were is eye opening when they are also each others greatest enemies. Just might be one of the top 2 superhero movies EVER.

 This movie gets 5 Smelly Fingers and a “GO SEE THIS MOVIE ASAP!!!!!!!!”

Honduran Job - 2

Here is strip number two, the idea of a new character is introduced.  sorry this one is not in color either but I have been very busy and my internet keeps going down is why this is up monday insteat of saturday.
If you think you know who the characters are leave a comment ..... maybe your right, maybe not.

 If the image is too small just click on it, it should bring up a larger image.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Cartooning 101.2- The Mental Fun of Fundamentals

Lets get our supplies together first.
Well that was easy, who knew you could do so much with so little. Art is just self expression but like all structures you must begin with that first piece. All things are built out of shapes. The foundation of drawing a good structure is being aware of its shape. Lets start with something basic like a house or cabin, its shapes are real easy.
You see the use of the different rectangles used and the triangle for the roof, its really basic but even the details are basically the same. All it took were some basic shapes put together and there you have it a simple cartoon house.

Try this on your own take something simple like a house or a fence or even a chair( simple chair) and break it down to simple shapes then put them together to see if it looks similar to the original.
Stay tuned for more lessons coming soon.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Arizona to Start Accepting Applications for Medical Marijuana Dispensaries- Sounds Like A Trick

According to Arizona is about to start accepting applications for medical marijuana dispensaries. This sounds like a desperate attempt to stabilize a weak economy that has favorable projection for the next 2 years but still not in population growth. Arizona is a state that is full of Hispanics/Mexicans or Latinos, whatever you want to call us there are a lot of us there. If I’m not mistaken even when a state decriminalizes medical marijuana it is still illegal on the federal level.

Here’s what I’m hinting at, the government of this state has not made it a secret that they see brown as the enemy and with the decriminalization of marijuana it seems like a trap. If this was a cartoon you could see a person with Arizona on his shirt digging a hole then covering it with leaves and twigs and putting a little bag of weed and a burrito on top. Honestly I mean they have the right to racially profile a “suspicious” looking person, aka if you look too Mexican(better leave the pancho at home), and now your going to have some weed on you. All they are going to have to do is turn you over to the right authorities and you just got busted for being Mexican on a federal charge. I’m not saying its going to happen but lets just say I wont be surprised.

My only advice when it comes to this is don’t stay in a state that doesn’t want you there. Screw those people and anyone that thinks like them….. Viva La Raza.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

This Is Going To Sound Nerdy- A Quick Look At X-Men: First Class

I love the X-men, this is going to sound nerdy but I feel the need to say it. This movie looks real cool, it looks like the colors are really going to pop in this movie. They are also using characters that have not been in previous movies but they are also not using character that should be in this movie. I am guessing that the makers of this movie are throwing the original story out the window and just creating one of their own.

Everybody knows that the original X-Men consist of Cyclops, Jean Grey, Hank McCoy, Bobby Drake, and Warren Worthington III. I mean I know this sounds totally nerdy but I grew up reading these books and its not really the first class without these guys. I mean honestly I am going to watch this movie but why the hell is Havok in this movie. Havok was in X-factor not X-Men, I hardly ever read that book. If you don’t know, Havok is the brother of Cyclops and I don’t get why they would use Havok without Cyclops. Then there is Banshee, huh I really don’t get why they are using this guy. Speaking of Banshee does anyone remember the made for tv movie Generation X, it also starred Banshee as the leader of Gen X and was a hilariously bad movie on fox that you can find on Youtube in 9 parts.

Anyway, I really am looking forward to watching this movie I think It will be awesome even if it totally deviates from the original story and basically shows no respect for all the hardcore fans. Thanks for Raping our favorite stories Disney.