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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Bad News If You’re Scared Of Robots And Bees

I’m not going to lie, I’m scared of bees! And thanks to movies like Terminator, Terminator 2, and Robocop robots are the coolest scariest thing in the world. Now it looks like scientists are working on putting these two things together in an attempt to make me an insomniac.

I’ve never been stung by a bee but that’s mostly due to the complete fear of Africanized honey bees instilled in me by watching way too many movies about what could happen. Knowing nothing about bees makes them ever more scary because, to me, they all look like killer bees. Its not manly to admit being scared of something but when it comes biologically equipped with a knife and a suicidal need to kill, that tends to scare me. I’ll never get another wink of sleep knowing that there could be unkillable robot bees in the near future that could possible attack me like I got stuck under a thousand sowing machines of death.

They say that these little robot killing machines might be used for pollinating or maybe in search and rescue missions by observing and finding a way to copy the ability of a simple brain like a bee. Is it just me or is this how all those cheesy scary black and white monster movies started. Freakin scientists say to themselves hey what will happen if we upload this brain to this drone with missles on it and poof instant killing machine. Sure it’s a not a threat until it thinks the missiles it has are pollen and all the major cities on earth need to be pollinated.

Sounds like how the future happens in Terminator too, cant we pay attention in these movies instead of zoning out while trying to get a hand job. Lets pay attention people the future depends on it!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Will Somebody End Reality Shows Already?

I get it. How many times do we need to see that there are a lot of people out there that we need to feel superior to. After being dominated by an overbearing boss all day sometimes people just want to come home and see some people on tv that have it a lot worse than we do and arent even aware of it, I guess?

Snooki had a baby? Who freakin cares, I hope it becomes a doctor so somebody can finally tend to the myriad of STDs gestating in Snooki’s uterus from whence this last child spawned. For the record I don’t care if she is a stupid whore or if she’s a quantum physicist that enjoys knob gobbling as a religious activity. I don’t care about this girl! What I do care about is what this type of tv is doing to our nation as a whole. Celebrity has become the goal instead of being a byproduct of immense amounts of talent.

Now I know I have just fallen into the trap of talking about another showbiz whore that doesn’t really do anything but I need to make a point. I hate talking about tv shows with substance that I love just for somebody to bring up this awful piece of crap, I get it, you’re better than her in every way except your life isn’t interesting enough or whorey enough to be on tv!

The best way to combat the dumbing down of America is to once and for all stop talking about slutty good for nothing attention whores that don’t bring any talent to the table. But like most people, I am a hypocrite because I am so interested in watching that show about the two headed girl. Abby and Britney is a hilariously awesome show but maybe its because one of my dreams is to be in a threesome!