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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Thoughts At A Birthday Party

Just recently I went to a childs birthday party which was a bit of a challenge for me because of how socially awkward I can be. The day overall was pretty good but this party just happened to have all the things I’m not comfortable with like kids and adults. The worst thing is that there was one person in particular that had a personal space issue, maybe because she had so many kids ( I guess you lose a sense of personal space when that many people pass through your vagina). I went to this party with my sister and what were supposed to be my niece and nephew but they went out of town (not by themselves) , so we went to a childs birthday party without any children. Do you know what that’s like for me, well you’re going to find out.

The day started off weird because my sister told me to be ready by 10 am and when I woke up at 9:30 I had my first thought of the day, “Dam, 10 is a little too early for a birthday party unless it’s a surprise” but I got ready anyway. On the way to where the party was I was informed that the party didn’t start until 1 pm, at that moment I felt like a puppy being driven away from its owners staring out of the back window thinking about waking up at 12:30. But who cares I’m awake now I thought to myself lets make the best of it. So I was as much help as I usually am, none. Its not that I didn’t want to help but its more like I was using all my concentration not to fart all over this nice persons couch.

Then people started showing up, the dread set in. In walked this little kid with a black eye and he wouldn’t stop looking at me. To my surprise even little kids have the ability to make me self conscious because I immediately started to think, “do I have something on my face. I didn’t eat breakfast today so its not that, maybe its booger or an eye booger. Why does that kid have a black eye? Does he want me to get up? You cant have my spot kid, it already smells like me. I’ve been here since 10 we’re gonna fist fight if you wanna take this seat. Maybe he’s a good fighter and that’s where he got the black eye.” That mental onslaught of thought ended as soon as another kid walked in.

The next kid that walked in came in in a parade of other children, they all seemed to be the same shade of Mexican so I assumed they were siblings. But there was one stand out, this child (I say child because it took me while to figure out if it was a boy or a girl) walked in with what looked to be an American flag draped over it like a weirdly patriotic pancho and a mohawk (my first instinct was to go mosh with it). The Star Spangled Banner started playing in my head and I wanted to stand up and salute it but then the black eye kid would probably take my seat and I would be taken in for child abuse after I sat on him.

This is the end of Part 1 but more to come tomorrow! Stay tuned!

Monday, July 30, 2012

What Goes Around Comes Around Apple

Apple is taking Samsung to court with allegations that they have stolen the design of the Iphone. Ummmmm…… I’m not the smartest man on this planet but what exactly is Apple pissed about? Correct me if I am wrong but isn’t the foundation of apple based on the idea that they stole the idea of the graphic user interface from Xerox and never really gave credit where credit was due. Isn’t that what is happening here?

I always think things like this are funny because for just a quick history lesson on the beginning of Apple all you have to do is watch the movie Pirates of Silicon Valley. Apple was always fighting the power, looking at the large corporations that ran the computer industry and trying to figure out a way to beat them at their own game or maybe even create a whole new game. And they did it, to the surprise of everyone, but what they did not anticipate is that they would become the “Man” themselves. Apple has had so many innovations over the last few decades and now that they are the power, it looks like someone else is coming in to pirate from them….. Seems fair to me.

Even beyond all of this, the fact that Apple would stoop to this level now can lead you to come to only one conclusion, Apple is losing money. You can only get a giants attention if you can make them feel that you’re there. The other phone isn’t exactly brand new, its been out for a while so why now? My personal opinion is that Steve Jobs isn’t around to stop the greedy money grubbers do what greedy money grubbers do and that’s grub money. I expect to see a lot of changes coming to Apple under the guise of trying to stay competitive or “its what Steve Jobs would have wanted.”

Friday, July 27, 2012

Stinkin Monkies 10- Cowboy Drive By

Here is the new episode of Stinkin Monkies.  We have all watched cowboy movies and wanted to be the bad guy.  I dont know about you but I always root for the bad guys until they start acting like bastards.  Hope you enjoy it!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Will Regeneration Technology Make Us Like Spiderman’s Dr. Connors?

I found an article on about bone regeneration. Check out this quote:

"ScienceDaily (July 24, 2012) — Researchers at the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland (RCSI) have developed a new method of repairing bone using synthetic bone graft substitute material, which combined with gene therapy, can mimic real bone tissue and has potential to regenerate bone in patients who have lost large areas of bone from either disease or trauma."

You know what that means, Doctor Connors, from the new Spiderman movie, might actually be rooted in some sort of truth. I’m not saying that they are using reptiles but what I am saying that there is a potential for reptilian like regeneration in the future. How crazy is that?

Could you imagine falling a 3 story fall landing on your feet destroying the bones in your not only in your legs but in your back and in a matter of weeks being on your feet again like nothing happened. Regeneration is not only for healing the sick and broken but the implications on aging could be revolutionary.

You will never be old again (thank God, I was starting to get a little worried because I’m staring my 30’s in the face). Our bodies work on what seems to be a timer, technically we regenerate on a cellular level replacing old skin cells with new skin cells but as you age the regeneration slows and once it slows enough that’s when the aging process begins to show. Your skin gets thinner and wrinkles don’t go away, you start to lose elasticity but with artificial regeneration it could all be a thing of the past. Fingers Crossed!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Mitt Romney’s Done It Now!- “Anglo- Saxon Heritage”

I don’t like to blog about politics because I don’t care most of the time but good ol Mitt has done it now! He talked about feeling the special relationship to an anglo saxon heritage. Now this might be news to anyone who isn’t paying attention to the details but this guy is a Mormon and if you didn’t know those people are not only WRONG but until the 70’s they didn’t let black people be apart of leadership. They not only believed that, they also believed that black skin was a curse on people.

If you don’t know Mormonism is a very American religion, they believe that Jesus not only came to America he gave some crazy guy a secret book that wasn’t for anyone else to see. Multiple wives, hating black people these people are crazy and you’re going to get angry because this crazy Mormon is saying crazy crap, please.

The mormons believed that a woman couldn’t get to heaven without her husband so that’s why they had to take on so many wives. That’s the guy you Republicans want to run this country. Don’t get me wrong I think Sesame Street is the greatest puppet show on the planet second only to the government, so it really doesn’t matter who is in charge but do you really want to hear 4 years of this kind of crazy racism. Yup is said the word that no one is going to say, that’s Racist.

I don’t care about any of it but I think its hilarious that a Mormon would basically express his beliefs and then people would say “where did that come from?” I say enjoy it!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Monkey Diet Tips

Popular Science reports that while it was trendy to eat like a caveman, mostly meat, why stop there. Go even further back and eat like an Ape. I know there is a difference between monkeys and apes but I like the word monkey way more so that’s what I’m gonna use. This was an interesting idea because the caveman diet was in for a while and the whole idea behind it was to feed your body things it evolved eating and Pop. Sci. is talking about going even further back. I like it.

There isn’t much more in this world that I like more than monkeys. I so wish I could throw poop at others already and unless they’re a pet they never even have to wear pants….. I’m so jealous. Other than captivity though when have you ever seen a fat monkey, never, that’s when. But also for all the fat people that don’t want to give up eating meat, (thanks caveman diet) when have you ever seen a monkey take his spear in his hand and hunt down lunch? You haven’t and there lies the key to losing weight, fatso (this is kind of a letter to myself, so I’m fatso not you). If we evolved from monkeys or at least a common ancestor as monkeys then it would stand to reason that we should have a very similar diet, right? I never saw any monkeys in line at Subway, Jared.

If you think for a minute you will realize that we are not the strongest or anywhere near the fastest animal out there so if we ate meat on a regular basis it would be weaker, slower and smaller than us. What animal fits that description, none of them because they need to survive and if it wasn’t for our brain we would be solely plant eating animals or like monkeys digging into ant holes with a stick looking for lunch. Have you ever tried to catch a mouse with your bear hands, trust me its hard. Even Rocky had a hard time catching the chicken….. And that was Rocky! Animals with sharp teeth eat meat and animals with flat teeth with a jaw that can move side to side eat veggies, which one do we have. Both, we have our K9s to rip meat and our very mobile jaw to chew up plant products. That indicates that we were more of scavengers than we were really hunters and our brain is what really allowed us to become hunters. So how do you lose weight like our ancestors…… EAT LESS FATSO!

We have switched from throwing poop to shooting bullets. You saw Planet Of The Apes once they learn how to make spears its all downhill from there. Maybe if we go back to poop throwing the world will be a better place.

Just as a side note, did you know that “fatso” doesn’t come up as misspelled?

Monday, July 23, 2012

Dark Knight Rises- A Quick Review

HOLY CRAP! If you havent seen the other two movies watch them before you see this one. There were so many skeptics coming into this movie and I was kinda one of them but I still really wanted to see this movie. How could it possibly compete with The Dark Knight, right? Wrong, its not a competition, there is no reason to compete with it because they are all apart of each other. The Joker is a way different kind of cool than Bane is in this movie, so there isn’t even a comparison, its Chinese stars and Batarangs.

With that being said, Watch This Movie! I don’t like to give away endings in my movie reviews but I will say that the villain in this movie is so freakin cool! The way the movie is set up, is a few years down the road and there has been no sighting of Batman for years, you remember because he’s the “bad guy.” So now commissioner Gordon is getting crushed under the lie, Bruce Wayne hasn’t shown his face in public either and now there are Howard Hughes type rumors going around about him. Because this is a movie and not a comic book Batman cant be young forever, this dudes body is breaking down and Bane has just taken over the city under the guise of giving Gotham back to the people.

The characters they brought out for this movie rock so much without getting cheesy. The Story about being born in prison is so cool along with them showing the Batwing. The Character of John Blake as a hot head cop turned detective with a similar past to Bruce Wayne makes for an interesting gear in this machine of awesomeness. Catwoman also shows her face and I am not even very partial to Anne Hathaway as an actress but her portrayal of Catwoman is great.

This movie is a rollercoaster of emotion, unlike Michael Bay, Christopher Nolan knows how to seduce an audience with a characters and story to make you feel like you’re apart of it.

So all I can say to Christopher Nolan is, “You have been given Superman…. I‘ll vote you for you for president if you get it right!”

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Smells Like Crap Talkin Podcast- Smells Like An Ex Girlfriend- Ep 5

In this episode of the Smells Like Crap Talkin Podcast we will be taking a deeper look at my last ex girlfriend and how she grossed me out.  We will be talking about how she smelled, looked, acted, and all basic characteristics that made her really Man-ish. At the end I will be answering a question about hitting on girls.  Let me go crazy in your ears!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Stinkin Monkies 9- Cowboys and Monkies

Here it is another episode of Stinkin Monkies. Making your own comic strip is really fun because where else are you going to see monkey children make a whiskey joke around a jacked up cat..... only on the Internet, thats where. Hope you enjoy it!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Drawing A Simple Cartoon Character- Using Circles

Its that time again, time for a drawing lesson- Drawing A Simple Cartoon Character Using Circles. I really enjoy drawing and If I haven’t said it before I’ll say it right now, ANYONE CAN LEARN TO DRAW!! I know this because there are basically 2 types of thinking brains in this world, the artistic and the analytical, everything falls in between. Drawing can be completely artistic or completely analytical. But if you have never done it in your life then I see how it can be intimidating, especially after seeing the cartoons on tv or the comics in the paper all your life. Let me assure you I am not a great artist by any stretch of the imagination, I just have loved drawing since I was a kid and as an adult have fallen in love with it all over again. The only difference is now I want to share my love with the world and give people the opportunity to fall in love with their own creative side as well. With that being said lets get to it.

Draw your cartoon character in just a few easy steps:

1. Draw a circle….. Boom, its that simple!

2. Now you’re going to draw 3 circles stacked on top of each other in a straight vertical line.

2.1. Draw a line horizontally through the bottom circle to cut it in half, we will only be using the bottom half.

3. Next, the top circle is going to be the head so you’re going to add eyes, eyebrows, a nose, a mouth, and a small curved line for the chin.

3.1. The 2nd circle is going to be the body so for the purpose of this cartoon we will use a wide bean shape for the body. (as a side note you can vary the bean shape to make a fat short or even a tall and more slender character)

3.2. The bottom half circle is going to be where the legs and feet are. You can make the legs and feet any way you would like…. The way I have demonstrated in the picture is just my favorite quick way to draw them.

4. Then you will be drawing ears and hair on the top circle. To connect the 1st and 2nd circle draw a line on the left and right side towards the bottom of the 1st and top of the 2nd to be the neck. A curved line at the bottom of the neck lines will be the collar of the shirt.

4.1. On the 2nd circle you will draw an arm coming out of a sleeve of the shirt. This can also be drawn anyway you would like but the way I have drawn is just a simple quick way with the 4 finger typical cartoon hand. Due to the direction the body is pointing is why you cannot totally see the other arm, if you notice I have only drawn the top with the body in the way.

The final step is just to erase all the unnecessary lines that come from the original 2 ½ circles and there you have your first simple cartoon drawn from 3 circles.

P.S.- There will be future posts going into more detail about each body part and then it will be on to more complex characters. If you have any suggestions or request for drawing lessons leave a comment and I will do my best to get it done. (just so you know I would like Thursdays to be the new drawing lessons day)


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

West Texas Hip Hop - J Tha Truth

In a time where mainstream hip hop has somehow morphed into a strange assortment of dance beats eerily reminiscent to future style techno music, I have come across a rapper in my area known as J Tha Truth. His style is refreshing compared to the bland flavorless mass consumption gruel that is served daily through the radio stations. J Tha Truth has a clean style to him and his flow has a hypnotizing rhythm to it. So give him your support and check him out. 

A couple of my favorites

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Just Say No To Skinny Jeans!!!!

There is nothing more frustrating to me than seeing a boy/man wearing what looks to be a womans pants. I don’t understand what goes into the decision for a guy to dress like a woman. I’m not even passing judgment on someone dressing in drag because they say “Hey look at me I’m dressed like a woman” where people that wear skinny jeans say “What do you mean these are mens pants.”

I’m writing this because I found a video on Youtube where a dad did the ultimate thing and took video of his son wearing skinny jeans and did his best to embarrass him. I am totally behind this kind of behavior, there are way too many people making a fool of themselves and for some reason its wrong to call them out on it. Here is a dad taking a stand against a trend that is making this nations youth look like they “stole midget pants.”
Bravo dad, bravo!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Is Counting To 4 Scary?

Popular Science reports that geneticist in Canada have taught a breed of fruit flies to count to four. It has only taken them 40 generations (they must have smoked a lot of weed in that breed). I’m sure the scientists were high 5ing each other but I remember something else that started out like this….. Planet Of The Apes.

Maybe I’m just paranoid but there are already a bazillion of flies around the world but it seems to me the last thing we need to do is help them develop the skills necessary to take over the world more than they already have. Math and language are the building blocks of society. We just gave flies 1 and we assume they don’t have the other but I’m sure they can communicate with each other. Even if they kill them all I’m sure 1 will get away in a sort of Outbreak scenario (that movie is where most of my ideas about the disease originate).

Once the fly escapes its only a matter of time until he becomes the Einstein of the fly world and gives them the fly equivalent of the atomic bomb with his theories. He’ll end up having children and passing along the necessary requirements to do his complicated levels of math and from there the ball will be rolling. Soon the flies will find a way to defeat all the predators in their food chain and then will become top of the food chain and it will just be a matter of time before they dominate our food chain.

All this because some scientist thought it would be cool to make money showing flies how to count….. Or maybe I’m just paranoid.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Stinkin Monkies 8

Here's the Stinkin Monkies strip for the week.  It took a little longer than usual because I was trying out a new style of inking. This was done with a rapidograph and traced over with inkscape.  I was in such a hurry I left out a few steps but I think over all it looks a lot better this time. Hope you enjoy it!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Smells Like Crap Talkin Podcast- Smells Like Anger- Episode 4

The Podcast is a little early this week folks and the comic strip will be out tomorrow. Got a little behind this week.  This podcast has a little open mic talk and a little anger about an outing to the store.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Gay Border Fence?

I finally have come up with the perfect solution to people crossing the border. It’s a 2 for 1 because the ones that are causing all the “hu-bub” are the conservatives, so I have a solution that could help everyone calm down a little. Here’s the main idea of the whole thing, we, as a country, should create a new border fence but it should be made out of gay people (I don’t mean that in a bad way, keep reading).

I mean think about how awesome that would be, you’re a Mexican that is thinking of going to America and work for below minimum wage and best case scenario is people protest to have your kids thrown out of the country. Well while you are on your trek to America you reach the border and you behold one of the most disturbing sites for any traditional conservatively raised catholic born Mexican….. A line of gay people as far as the eye can see all holding hands like a giant international game of Red Rover.

This will fix more problems than it seems. 1st the only Mexicans that will come over here are the ones that are a little open minded and really really determined to be here. 2nd this will cut down illegal immigration by at least half. 3rd this will flood the border and southern towns full of gay people and in time it will create a new area in the country where open minded people can congregate. The more conservative and angry intolerant people will either die or move away but they cant move north, people think there, they cant move west, people are a little weird there, so they will be forced to move to a state directly in the middle of the country. It will create a new country where open mindedness is spread over the entire thing and the crazy conservative vote will be pulled back to a minimum.

Problem Solved! I told you it was good.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Real Americans Don’t Have Tattoos?

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that tattoos are getting in the way of people getting their visas (and I don’t mean the credit card). I didn’t know this actually happened, you know I saw Scarface too, but I didn’t know that law enforcement was getting their ideas from the movies.

I understand that there is a reason for doing what they do but at the same time you can take things too far. Like for instance Arizona, they have made racially profiling legal or at the very least acceptable. What the hell is that about? I’m starting to see a pattern emerge here and it seems to be against a people that look like the villains in the movies.  It seem like no one can look into history and just see the atrocities done bye this country and then think, “Hey, maybe we’re wrong this time like all the other times we were scarred of something?”

There are tattoos that are associated with gangs but isn’t that the whole thing about a tattoo, they don’t go away so you really don’t know when they got it. It could be a souvenir from a rebellious childhood or just a bad decision. Just because you did a short google search for an image that you like and didn’t research what it was about, now you cant live in America…. Seems like there’s a problem with the rules instead of the people. So why are you coming down on the tattooed guy coming in the country when its this country that was empowering the cartels to begin with. This doesn’t make sense to me, its like feeding your kid a ton of candy then spanking him because he has cavities.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Not Today 2012- Space Weather Forecast?

According to there is a new instrument that will help our ability in predicting Space Weather. I never knew that was a problem. Like everyone else I saw the movie Day After Tomorrow with Jake Gyllenhaal and 2012 with John Cusack so I am aware that space weather is a bit of an issue but then again these were just movies, right?

I’m not saying that any of that stuff doesn’t have a basis in reality and I’m not even saying that I don’t love the show Ancient Aliens. What I am saying is that if you know its coming that still isn’t gonna make me feel any better about it. I know we need to know things about stuff (that really sounds like an intelligent thing to say doesn’t it) but there are reasons we need to know. For example if there is a bomb coming and an alarm goes off that means “Hey everyone we figured out that there is something coming and you need to hide or it’s a guarantee you’ll get blown to smithereens!” That is where something like that will come in handy. But on the other hand if an alarm goes off and they send out the message “Hey everyone guess what we figured out? There is a solar storm coming and its going to obliterate the entire planet no matter where you’re hiding so pray to any deity you see fit or hope to meet and we’ll see you on the other side….. Bye!” That seems like the kind of message I would rather you keep to yourself.
I would like to watch the Space Weather Channel though. “Our seven day forecast is clear and dark with a wind gusts at 0 miles per hour, slight chance of meteor showers around Saturn on Tuesday, but we wont see it. There is a black hole developing 35 million light years from here, but we wont see it. And finally in 5 billion years the Sun will go Red giant but we wont see it. That’s right folks I get paid to say the same thing every Sunday, now I’m gonna go drink but you wont see it!” I would watch that!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Fortune Cookies Suck

I went to each Chinese food today (because its awesome) and I was reminded of one of my greatest nemesis….. The fortune cookie. I wish fortune cookies were real and then they could hand them out before you sit down and then you might know if your going to have horrible service. The waiter we had sucked today but that has nothing to do with what I’m trying to say, maybe it does because he threw the cookie in our face before we were ready to leave. What a butt hole.

The fortune cookie is like the music during any award show, if you take too long, throw it out there and just watch the people get uncomfortable until they leave. Hey, waiter, does my fortune cookie have the name of a new restaurant that I can go eat at or do you wanna see how much its gonna tell me to tip you. I’ll give you a hint what its gonna tell me to tip you, its one of the digits from my lottery number on the back. I have always wondered if anyone uses that lottery number but I don’t play the lottery so its just one more thing the fortune cookie uses to mock me.

Then comes the fortune itself which for me is the worst part of the whole experience because I just sit there and watch everyone open their fortune cookie and be pleasantly surprised. When I open my fortune cookie it never says anything of any relevance to me and my life. Everyone else gets you’re going to make a business deal, or friends are in your future. The type of thing where you go “Oh I wonder who it will be.” Where as my fortune always reads something like “pants have pockets” or todays “fortune” was basically “hope helps.” Like it knew I was a sad person and this little piece of stupid paper is going to be the only thing that keeps me from going over the edge. Stupid fortune cookies.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Smells Like Crap Talkin Podcast- Smells Like Bitterness- Episode 3

Another week another episode of Smells Like Crap Talkin.  In this podcast I go on about my first job, the responsibility of dogs, having sex for money, and I answer a question.  Hope you enjoy listening.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Stinkin Monkies 7

Its that time of the week again, and time for another round of Stinkin Monkies.  This is strip 7 of my weekly comic strip.  Fart jokes are always funny and I think it was about time the monkies did one. Hope you enjoy it!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Alabama Pastor Says He’s Not Racist

I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw that this happened. It turns out there is a “Pastor” in Alabama that has an annual conference for whites only. He justifies it by saying that white people are Gods chosen people. This made me laugh the kind of laugh that makes me a little sad on the inside.

I cant believe this still happens. Well, I guess it’s a well established fact in history that stupid people read the Bible too. I’m a Christian but I mean come on, where do you get the notion that white people are the chosen people of God. I don’t know if you have ever read it but I think Jesus was a Jew. And contrary to popular southern opinion he probably wouldn’t drive a pickup and threaten people with guns.

Its people like this that make me hope Jesus comes back soon just so all these knuckle dragging morons will pick up their guns and start shooting the flying Jew in the clouds. I know this will happen because these are the same people that “see” a UFO and shoot at it because they don’t want to get abducted and anally probed (I think because they are afraid they’re gonna like it).

For all the atrocities that people like this have brought upon the world, I still feel the need to thank them for one thing. Its people like this that keep the national intelligence average low letting the rest of us score way higher letting us be in the gifted or genius levels of intelligence. If these people didn’t exist we would just be regular joes. On second thought I would much rather be a regular joe than to have to drive around Alabama and Arizona whenever I’m gonna go somewhere.

Are you a racistist when you Hate racists.?

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Wal-Mart Says Turn The Other Cheek Or Go Home

73 year old lady had to sell her house because she got fired from Wal-Mart for pulling on a customers sweater after they pushed her last black Friday. Once a gain the fact that this is a news story is hilarious to me but I really do feel bad for the old lady. There are a ton of problems here so lets explore them together.

First problem, Black Friday. I hope in two million years, long after we have destroyed ourselves probably on a black Friday, aliens land on this lost waste of a planet and find surveillance footage of every black Friday of our final 50 years. They will see how we became Consumers instead of people with valid opinions and with a ravage focus tore our way through little old ladies just to save a few bucks. Now there is something we should all be proud of.

The next problem is that this lady had to lose her job because someone pushed her. Whether she was grabbing the sweater because they pushed her or because she was trying not to fall down, I don’t know. Either way, what the hell Wal-Mart. Now I have never made it a secret that I hate that place and I believe that its logo is the representation of all things that step on the neck of the little guy. But sometimes you just need to have a heart man, seriously. Who do you blame here because I can tell you the excuse of everyone leading to the CEO…. “I was just doing my job.” Wal-Mart is known for treating their employees like crap, they even get them to believe that not unionizing if for their own good, give me a break. So Wal-Mart just wants you to get pushed around and to “turn the other cheek” but only when it comes to customers. That’s justice, right?

I have a solution, as the consumer you have a choice where to put your dollars. How about together we choose not to put them in Wal-Mart. They will know how their mistreated employees feel after they have to shut down a few locations.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Personality Is On the Outside, Right?

I had an argument the other day with someone about how a person was so unique because of the size of her hair. If you cant tell by my other post I was on the side of your exterior is an expression of who you are on the inside not how you express your inside.

The argument came from a person she knows that always has big hair and how she was talking about how brave and unique she is for having that hair. Give me a break (as the old saying goes) I was born at night not last night. The people I am naturally drawn to are outsiders and I don’t mean that in an avant garde way. I mean it in a way that the people I enjoy talking to are usually very different from the norm, they are usually deeply troubled or have had deep troubles (they always have something interesting to say). They are usually shunned by regular society because most people are not willing to get past a wall that these people have created for themselves.

Now your going to tell me some kid is “unique” because she likes her hair to be stupid! I have met some of the true snowflakes of the world and let me tell you there is a reason these people are snowflakes and its because nobody wants to be like them. And this little girls wants you to believe she is unique because she’s practically telling you that she is, makes me sick.

I would like to enlighten you about what this girl is really saying with her hair (If your reading this I assume you already know but I believe it needs to be said). First thing her hair says is look at me because I need your approval because I don’t care what you think. Stupid right. Next thing it says is I don’t understand what a unique personality actually consists of because I actually believe Lady Gaga is an artist. That’s the one that really makes me sick.

Just like the new Spiderman movie Lady Gaga is just a reboot of what Madonna used to be before her age made her hilarious.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Real Life Willy Wanka and Nestle Factory?

Busted! Nestle just got caught supporting child labor in the cocoa farms they get their chocolate from. Is it just me or does this sound like Willy Wonka just got busted. I love that movie, how could it have gotten misinterpreted. Its not child labor if their having fun, right?

I saw the movie and I wanted to work in a chocolate factory too, so can you really blame the kids? That seems like it would be the perfect solution to our nations growing obesity problem, Put Them To Work! This would really work on a chocolate farm. First step get a bunch of fat kids and ask them if they want all the chocolate they can eat. Step two let them keep a certain amount of the chocolate they gather. Step three Skinny Kids…. That would work right?

Did they even get a good look, are you sure they were kids and not Oompa Loompas. They look a lot like kids but orange or like Mexicans if you go with the Tim Burton version of the movie. The one thing I learned from the movies is that its not enslavement or “child labor” if you want to work for chocolate. Did they even check to see if the Nestle Oompa Loompas were singing, does the CEO call them with a flute because that would be a dead give away that they are Oompa Loompas.
But how about a better solution to this instead of just getting angry at Nestle. How about forcing them to stop exploiting the farmers and pay them a decent wage and create an environment where children don’t have to go to work….. How about it?