Howdy folks its been a while, I’ve been way busier than I thought I would be, but I had to do a post about this because (I know its late) this has been nagging at me for a little while. Tis the season or at least Tis the day after the season and I went to see a local play about scrooge. It was an adaptation called The Gospel According to Scrooge so keep in mind if the things that I say sound a little weird its because this play was a little different. But I have 1 question, what exactly was Scrooge doing that was so wrong that everybody had to come screw with him?
The entire story rides on the premise that scrooge was this dick of epic proportions when in reality he was just a workaholic that hated Christmas. Whats so wrong with that, there’s no rule that you have to love Christmas and even the bible says that one of the only joys a man can have is enjoying what he does. So whats the problem here? If I’m not mistaken in the story Scrooge is some kind of banker or lender, granted that these are some of the most heartless people in the world, but everybody hates him because he wants to do his business and not be messed with. Also it seems like a really small community and it seemed like everybody wanted to be his friend. Here again Scrooge seems like a bastard because he doesn’t want to be their friend but if you take a second look, Scrooges nephew is very poor and in need of lots of help for Timmy. Just a part of the story focuses on Scrooge failing his nephew (I’ll concede that Scrooge is a pecker of epic proportions and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for my niece and nephew) but with this great and super friendly community why don’t they get together and help out little Timmy. Because like Scrooge their money is their money.
All in all Scrooge seemed like a rich old bastard that just wanted to keep to himself because he had lead a pretty hard life. Life kept kicking this guy down until he buckled down and got to work and defeated life. Its easy if you’ve never been poor to look at this guy and say why wont he take a day off but when you’re poor nobody gives you any hand outs, I don’t care what the politicians say. He made it, he got rich but it seemed like life wasn’t done kicking him in the head. From a human perspective being a dick is bad but in reality some people are better off being left alone.
The real moral of this story is nobody wants to be your friend when you’re poor but everybody wants to be your friend when your rich. Is it just me or does this story not really jive with the American Dream?
Recently I have been going to the local open mic and if you have never been to one I highly suggest going. The open mic is a magical land where the things you say can actually be heard by a group of disgruntled people looking for an outlet. The particular open mic that I have been going to is for “comedy.” I’m from a town with no comedy except for the stray comedian that comes through here every now and then, so expectations are pretty low and I’m happy about that.
The first time I went there weren’t that many people and their rule is that the longer you have been going the earlier you get to go on stage, which really sucks for the new guy. So, if its your first time you get to sit through everybody’s jokes and the fear will paralyze your ear drums and you wont even be able to hear anything. You keep looking over your jokes because most of the time you wont have the foresight to memorize it anyway. Looking over the jokes you realize that none of it is funny like you thought it was (relax that just the pre-stage jitters) so you start to mark off any and all the jokes you think wont get a laugh. As you run out of material you begin to consider that maybe its just nerves that have made you mark all these lines on your notes.
And after the torture of having to wait the whole time then it becomes your moment. Here’s a tip for the first timer, don’t sit too far in the back because you’ll want to get to the stage while they’re still clapping, for self esteem purposes. Then they call your name and your heart starts racing, you get up and your knees are weak. You walk on stage concentrating on not falling down. Raising your head you see all the hopeful faces waiting for you to make them laugh. You’re in luck, they’re on your side.
Now its time to be funny.
Here it is another episode of Stinkin Monkies. Making your own comic strip is really fun because where else are you going to see monkey children make a whiskey joke around a jacked up cat..... only on the Internet, thats where. Hope you enjoy it!
Anytime I’m trying to write something funny or even remotely funny the show Yo Mamma comes to mind (I’m not even sure if that’s how you spell it). I tried to like that show, I really did. There was 1 thing that determined the outcome of that show and that’s performance. Let me give you the 1 joke that ended my love affair with yo mamma jokes. The guy said, “Yo Mamma is so stupid she wears open toed Timbalands.”
Let me focus on the one part of that disaster of a yo mamma joke that realls disturbs me. This joke implies that stupid people wear open toed timbalands. Now a boot without a toe is a bit humorous but as a yo mamma joke, I mean was I the only person at home that that turned the tv off after that. My first question was What the hell does that even mean? I know what an open toed shoe is but why is that hilarious as a put down to someone.
The joke was bad enough but then the crowd reaction was even worse, I think I hate this joke because they loved it so much. Right after this turd of a joke left this guys mouth the crowd went wild. Luckily I had my DVR that way I could rewind it because I must have missed something. But sitting there on my couch I came to the realization it wasn’t the joke that got the praise but the performance of the joke.
Whats the point of a joke if all you have to do is do a little dance and all of a sudden a stupid joke becomes a good joke. This one little piece of tv has made me swear off of Yo Mamma jokes all together. Well, I not only stopped using them I loathe them now. Every yo mamma joke I hear now sounds like stupid open toed timbalands.
Ridicule, that’s where its at.
