Dj Khaled - Don't Play Yourself Parody

Dj Khaled has brought some of the most inspirational and creepy videos that have ever hit the internet.  Dj Khaled snapchat and instagram accounts have some of the weirdest content that I have ever seen a sane adult aver post.  I'm not even sure if he is being serious about any of it.  This is me Willy Olguin, with my fake beard and a christmas tree in the back for some reason doing my impression of the soon to be classic, Dj Khaled. Enjoy.

Pointy Mexican Boots Are Destroying America

I would like to put Mexican pointy boots in the same category as skinny jeans because I think they are both hilarious.  I cant do that.  The problem with skinny jeans is that I know many people that wear them and they are very cool people. Whenever I make jokes about skinny jeans they always point them out to me and we both laugh, that’s happened many times.  On the other hand I have never met a guy or girl wearing pointy Mexican boots that has ever even had a chuckle near me. 

I don’t understand this freakin style and it drives me crazy because it is socially unacceptable to go up to them to point and laugh.  It looks like a person with extremely large feet slammed into a wall at an extremely high speed and it bent his feet up. Then another person saw this persons new feet and thought, “I bet he doesn’t stub his toe on anything” and then he stole his shoes. And finally he got his newly stolen bent up shoes home, he made sure that no one else was home put one boot in the middle of the floor, double checked no one was home, took his pants off and then sat on the point of the boot.  That is the only logical reason I can come up with that a regular human being of sound mind and body would buy this ridiculous clown shoe, to placate some kind of weird anal fixation.

There are only two reasons to even wear boots, 1^st to ride horses and 2^nd because you have a job or living situation that brings danger to the lower parts of your legs. Like working in some kind of empty field where you could get bitten by a snake or spider.  Other than those 2 reasons there is no reason outside of vanity that you would wear boots.  And I am man enough to admit though that there are people that grow up out in the country and they still live on farms and ranches and just wear that clothes as a lifestyle, I understand that. 

This  pointy shoe doesn’t make any sense to me and gives me the urge to play horseshoes with their feet.

Will Somebody End Reality Shows Already?

I get it. How many times do we need to see that there are a lot of people out there that we need to feel superior to. After being dominated by an overbearing boss all day sometimes people just want to come home and see some people on tv that have it a lot worse than we do and arent even aware of it, I guess?

Snooki had a baby? Who freakin cares, I hope it becomes a doctor so somebody can finally tend to the myriad of STDs gestating in Snooki’s uterus from whence this last child spawned. For the record I don’t care if she is a stupid whore or if she’s a quantum physicist that enjoys knob gobbling as a religious activity. I don’t care about this girl! What I do care about is what this type of tv is doing to our nation as a whole. Celebrity has become the goal instead of being a byproduct of immense amounts of talent.

Now I know I have just fallen into the trap of talking about another showbiz whore that doesn’t really do anything but I need to make a point. I hate talking about tv shows with substance that I love just for somebody to bring up this awful piece of crap, I get it, you’re better than her in every way except your life isn’t interesting enough or whorey enough to be on tv!

The best way to combat the dumbing down of America is to once and for all stop talking about slutty good for nothing attention whores that don’t bring any talent to the table. But like most people, I am a hypocrite because I am so interested in watching that show about the two headed girl. Abby and Britney is a hilariously awesome show but maybe its because one of my dreams is to be in a threesome!

New Study Says Pot Makes You Dumb?

Fox news reports (so you know it’s the “truth”) that a new study shows that weed use causes a drop in IQ over time. If this is true this explains so many things about the people that I have known in my life but there is a fundamental flaw in this research. If this research is taken from the numbers from the test that are taken over time then that is going to be the flaw in this research. You cant expect a pot head to take a test and do well.

Have you ever met a pot head in real life, even the smart ones don’t look like the kind of people that feel like taking a test, especially to disprove the usefulness of Marijuana. Lets break down what a pot does to a person before we breakdown what these studies are showing. First of all this story is being put out by the Propaganda machine known as Fox News. Pot makes you lots of things like hungry, lazy, and all around paranoid. But one of the things pot also does it that it makes you examine the mundane that the rest of us take for granted. A pot head will spend hours contemplating why the number 9 is just the 6 doing a handstand. But one of the other things that it makes you contemplate is the usefulness of a study on something that should be legal when all the other legal drugs in our country are so much worse. How many pot related drunk driving accidents are there in a year or how many pot related lung cancer deaths? This entire argument is just arguing the same things over and over.

There is a joke, I think it’s a Bill Hicks joke, that talks about how pot doesn’t make you unmotivated because you have the same amount of motivation but pot just helps you realize it isn’t worth the effort. This is very true, so if you ask me the reason the IQ scores for these people go down is because they have seen beyond the IQ score only to realize that this study is just to prove what the people funding the research want proven to keep weed illegal. So who cares? Just the people in charge.

Maybe weed is bad for you but so is Alcohol, tobacco, guns, hamburgers, candy, soda, potato chips, sunlight, all types of medication, cars, tv, video games, movies, porn, tattoos, rock and roll, piercings, laziness, and almost anything else you might enjoy, so just enjoy!