Top 5 Ways To Deal With A Bully

The first thing I am going to say is don’t become a bully yourself!  I am also going to tell you not to do the things that I did, I did not attack my bullies head on but in a round about way that may have traumatized them in a different way. I guess I became the bully that day.  To be fair though, there are different types of bullies.  There is the damaged bully, you know the guy from The Breakfast Club.  That is the guy that needs to inflict pain because he wants the world to mirror what he’s going thru.  There is also the “Alpha.”  Hes not really an alpha but hes taking what he sees to be the path of least resistance to obtaining dominance. The sum it up tho they are both dicks and here are my top 5 ways to deal with them.

#5- Avoid them

This goes without saying and if you’re dealing with a bully its something you’ve already tried.  This may not be the easiest thing but it is much easier that getting punched in the face or humiliated on a daily basis.  Some people may think this is the cowards way out but life isn’t the Roman Colosseum. It is also strategic because simple people get bored of not constantly stimulated so if they don’t have you they’ll find someone else.  I’ve tried this one and I can say its effective, the only problem with it is that it is not permanent.  They always find their way back, even if it isn’t the same guy its another guy, but the same guy.

#4- Talk

Admittedly this doesn’t work that often.  Sometimes tho, the bully is just in pain and is dealing with it the only way he knows how.  I know life isn’t an after school special but a lot of times bullies end up becoming friends with the people they bully.  Weird.  So, just because a person is being a dick doesn’t mean he’s doing it for fun. Treat them like people even tho they don’t deserve it.

#3- Stand up

This is when you’re starting to run out of options.  Most of the time a bully is like a cat just looking for a weak mouse to pounce on.  Most bullies like to feel superior and are looking for the path of least resistance. Nobody wants trouble all the time and that’s what they will get if you stand up to a bully everytime they pick on you. Doesn’t always work but it willy usually do the trick. There used to be a guy that would try to pick on me and every time I would just get in his face and ask him to hit me. Not always the best idea and it didn’t make him go away but he did it less and less until he finally stopped.

#2- Fight (I do not recommend this one)

Sometimes there is no other choice.  Sometimes another person will cause you so much grief that you have no other choice but to put on your big boy pants and throw down.  Usually a person is picking on you because they are bigger than you so fighting isn’t the smartest choice but it could be necessary, when you show you’re not afraid of a bully you take away their power. But since they are bigger than you you have to be willing to take the beating of a lifetime, it may not happen but you gotta be ready.

#1- Be Creative (I do not recommend this one)

Now, this one is my favorite one that’s why its number one.  I do not recommend  this one but it’s a lot of fun.  This one is where you be creative to deal with your bully problem. Not sure what that means huh? Well how about some examples.  When I was in jr high, there was this kid much smaller than me but 1000 times meaner.  He would make fun of me, constantly talking crap. One day I finally had enough and decided to do something but I’m a peaceful person, I don’t like fighting. So it was time to be creative.  I decided to look over his shoulder over the course of a week and get his locker combination.  So when I got it me and a friend of mine went to his locker when the halls were empty and opened it. What did I have planned you might ask? Nothing. I had nothing planned, so I improvised.  I pulled out his sack lunch threw it on the floor and my friend and I stomped on it and threw it back into his locker. Lame huh? I kinda thought so until juice started leaking from the bottom of his locker. It turned out we busted his juice box and he had to pay for all of his school textbooks. But wait theres more. Me and my bully ran in the same circles so this day I ended up having to sit at his table during lunch and watch him eat the lunch that me and my friend had so happily smashed. It was one of the saddest things I ever saw. He found out it was me and never messed with me again.

The moral of this story is don’t be like me and deal with your problems in a productive way. I became the bully when I watched him drink out of a crushed juicebox.  I still think about it… and it makes me laugh and feel sad at the same time

Guns Don’t Save People, People With Balls Do!

I love the gun control debate because there is no debate. Everyone has become a preacher and they are all bringing the gospel truth of the way guns should be used. These people have started to become as preachy as the Mormons coming to your front door just spewing their rehearsed scripts. The only thing they arent doing is destroying your Saturday morning cartoon and cereal marathons but they don’t have to because they have infected almost everyone you know.

Let me remind you that I am nobody and my opinions should be taken with a grain of salt. With that being said I believe that the true answer to the gun debate is….. Are you ready for it….. Here it comes…….4.…3.…2.…1.… and here it is…….Balls! Yup, balls, I think balls can solve a lot of the problems that people try to fix with guns. Take the Columbine kids, these kids no matter how unstable were bullied and they decided to end it all. What could have changed the outcome of this whole thing, that’s right, balls. If just one of these kids had the balls to take a baseball bat to the knees of one of their athlete bullies, the bully problem would have been solved. There would have been a storm of consequences that would have come from doing that but that’s where the balls come in. It doesn’t take balls to retaliate, it takes balls do deal with consequences. Like I said take it with a grain of salt, a baseball bat to the knees is no solution but compared to what happened it doesn’t really seem like a big deal.

Heres the other thing. If you knew that pulling out a gun wouldn’t send anyone cowering behind cover you would think twice about pulling it out. If you run into a liquor store and pull a gun out and no one hit’s the ground, not only that they begin to charge you and you’re not prepared to kill someone chances are you’re going to run away. A person or two might go down but the message will be sent….balls! Mass shooting have huge numbers because most people are hit running away. Fight or flight, most people choose flight. This is all theoretical I am saying nothing bad about victims of senseless crimes, just my simple black and white theories.

The gun debate has become such a joke with everyone just trying to push their agenda and not really caring what exactly is done to the people of this country. The right says everyone needs guns, the left says no one needs guns, and like all things in this life the truth lies somewhere in the middle but no one is willing to just have a normal talk with the attempt to hear and be heard. Let someones opinion affect you don’t just stay hard nosed with a plan in mind.

But hey what do you expect from a country that just a couple decades ago didn’t want to pee in the same bathroom as black people and where a state like Arizona can almost make it illegal to look Hispanic.

Guns don’t save people, people with balls do!

The Internet Junky Itch

Study in china shows that internet addicts suffer from withdrawal symptoms similar to those of a drug addict. That’s right you heard me like a drug addict, time to grab your laptop or ipad and a box of condoms and start cruising the not so hot spots or wait for an internet black out. Once they start getting that junkie itch…. You’re so in.

The effects of the “comedown” are very similar to what people experienced when coming down from ecstasy. These of course are from the obsessive users of the internet (not me of course I can quit at anytime). This is almost crazy if it didn’t make so much sense. I used to work in the computer lab at my local library. Those people got real crazy when you would take away their internet, which just happened to be my favorite part of the job. Usually when you put a group of like minded individuals together they will become a community, not in the case of the internet user. Maybe its because using the internet has become such a personal thing when people invade our space during “alone time” we tend to get angry, kinda like driving a car. I think we should name this change of mood or withdrawal “bored rage.”

My question is what the hell are you doing on the internet that you’re like a drug addict. I mean I can understand spending a whole day on the net out of boredom or weird searches but all the time. You can only watch so many cat videos and read status updates and tweets before you just start getting really bored and begin hating everyone you know for not having more interesting lives. Sometimes it seems like I’m the only one that gets on the computer and daydreams for a few minutes while staring at the screen before I realize I have nothing to do on the computer.

Its because of this that we should be thanking cyber bullies. Thanks to cyber bullies there are a ton of kids that are never going to have this problem (I’m obviously not talking about the ones that get truly traumatized because we all know something was gonna get em). As much as we hate cyber bullies they are just nature/evolutions way of dealing with certain problems. For every drug addict there is a person that had to deal with them and will never do drugs because of them. Cyber bullies arent a handful of butt holes, I mean they are, they are just curing you of your ridiculous obsession with the internet. See who says a small penis and an internet connection are useless, thanks cyber bullies.