Fat Dudes Tips For Picking Up Chicks

These are tips from a fat dude for fat dudes.  I looked everywhere for something to help a fat brother out but I never did find anything that would even remotely help.  That’s why I have chosen to bestow upon you (the reader) the little bit of knowledge and experience I have with being a fat dude trying to pick up chicks.  Before we get started with this list there are a few things that you have to know before we get into it, I am not a Casanova type guy that is always looking for the next chick or anything like that, I’m just a regular fat dude that has known a lot of other fat guys that just seem to feel bad for themselves and blame all the wrong things for them being lonely.  With that said I think its time to drop some knowledge! (yea, modesty is a problem for me)

Tip #1- Don’t change for anyone

This should go without saying but when it comes to low self esteem it has to be said.  Just be yourself, there is a reason the people around you like you.  The only time this does not apply is if you are a major, and I mean major, dick.  If you walk around as an enormous dick and blame everyone else then you might want to change but other than that just be yourself.  If you’re weird then just be weird, if you’re awkward then be awkward, there is gonna be somebody that likes it. Trust me.

The rest of these might seem like someone trying to change you but that is not my intention.  Think of it as highlighting your best personality traits and getting rid of roadblocks that you have put in your own way. That being said lets continue…

Tip #2- Have Balls

This one is the most important! If you just do this one and none of the others you will be in a much better place than most shy and awkward people.  There is no trick to it, its just having the balls to go up to someone you find attractive and saying, Hi.  Some of it is just that simple, life isn’t a romantic comedy where a grand gesture must be made every time or it has to be some weird coincidence.  There is a reason good women sometimes end up with crappy people, its because crappy people are too stupid to not have balls.  So take a lesson from horrible people and have some balls.

Tip #3- Being Funny Helps… A Lot

Look if you’re a fat dude then odds are you have a pretty developed sense of humor already.  Don’t be afraid to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine (sorry that’s a song).  I don’t know about you but I have always used humor to deal with all the things in my life and chances are you do too, it’s the only way to stay sane sometimes.  So open with a joke, get her laughing with you.  Have you ever met a funny person that you didn’t want to hang out with again?

Tip #4- Rejection Is Just Part Of It

Time for a hard dose of reality, Rejection is just part of it.  Sorry.  Even the best of the best get turned down.  Heres how I have always dealt with this.  Getting rejected is just like getting punched in the chest,  the first time it happens it might knock you off your feet and hurt a lot.  The good news is the more it happens the less it matters to you, you might go from the equivalent of a 3^rd grader getting punched in the chest to a Pro Fighter getting punched in the chest.  They both hurt but the Pro Fighter knows how to shake it off and keep moving.  Be a Pro Fighter and learn to shake off the rejection because when its all said and done it’s a numbers game.

That’s all the tips I have for you right now.  If there is anything else anyone would like to add just post it in the comments. Now get out there and have fun!

What Is Binge Eating Disorder?

I was just watching tv when I saw a commercial about B.E.D. and my first thought was what the hell is B.E.D.?  It turns out it stands for Binge Eating Disorder.  I always knew binge eating was a problem but I never saw it as a disorder. Erectile Dysfunction, now that’s a disorder! Binge eating disorder will lead to naps and happiness, give me a break.  If binge eating is going to become a medically diagnosed problem, we all know whats going to follow... Next thing is fat being a disease.

I don’t see how binge eating is a medical problem. Binge eating is the result of doing everything you always wanted to do in your life because its setting your inhibitions aside for a minute to do something that is going to make you very happy (maybe just for a few minutes).  We can all agree binge eating isn’t good for you but you know anything is not a serious medical disorder when an average drunk could diagnose it between slamming beers. 

I couldn’t believe it when I saw the commercial because I was watching Hulu Plus and Hulu starts a new episode of something when you finish the last thing and the next something has a tendency to be Saturday Night Live.  So I had to check and make sure that this was a real commercial and not just some joke from SNL.  I just don’t understand this thing, mostly because I’m a fat dude.  The definition of binge eating describes a feeling of being out of control, which is untrue.  I binge eat, or as I like to think of it Happy Hour, and I never feel out of control.  Binge eating isn’t about being powerless and out of control that’s S&M (sounds like a candy, “did you finish the S&M’s”).  Binge eating is more about turning off your brain and enjoying something on an almost animal level, that’s not out of control… is it?

This may just be a personal opinion but it seems like people keep trying to prescribe drugs just for personality defects.    Are people boring the crap out of you and you cant pay attention, it must be ADD and later the H was added because some people just couldn’t sit still. Are you sad, theres a pill for that?  Are you weird, theres a pill for that.  Are you fat then you must have B.E.D. have some drugs.  Give me a break!

I can cure all these problems real fast.  Go for a jog, get laid, make some friends and get a hobby.  And for crying out loud stop eating so much! Now all I have to do is take my own advice, stupid B.E.D. is trying to cut into my Happy Hour.