My name is Willy and this is where I place my thoughts and Podcasts! Why Would U Say That? The Podcast. I am a comedian hanging out with other comics so come laugh with us!!!
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." -Shakespeare
I got to see the movie Transformers 3 Dark of the Moon yesterday, was it a cool movie, yes it was. I went into this movie with the hopes that someone awesome would show up that I didn’t know about. It happened, at the very beginning of the movie they show a quick shot of a red guy with a beard and I think, “No way I had no idea Alpha Trion was gonna be in this movie!” I was wrong Alpha Trion was not in the movie they decided to change his name to Sentinel Prime. This irked me for 2 reasons, first Sentinel Prime is a character from the animated cartoon, second this character already has a name and its Alpha Trion. I know this is a nerd concern and I don’t like to nit pick movies but COME ON Michael Bay, have a little creative respect for the fans.
I did love all the little shout outs to the old cartoon. The way the ship was crashed into the moon looked exactly like the way the ship was stuck in the mountain in the original series. Those ships they used at the end of the movie looked like Scattershot from the Technobots. But I thought the coolest one was the space ship that looked like Omega Supreme, I was sitting there with my fingers crossed that it would transform but I forgot that Michael bay HATES ME!!
All in all the movie was decent but it wasn’t mind blowing like it should have been.
I hate it when I’m talking to someone and then I don’t get to say or don’t think to say what it is I really want to say. I’m sure its not just me, smooth talkin some hottie and then you somehow manage to get your size 12 foot to fit right in your mouth, you coulda got her number. Maybe that’s not the problem maybe the problem is your buddy is really sensitive but he smells like pickles. You want to tell him he smells like pickles but you don’t because your probably going to hurt his feelings, you shoulda told him. If you cant relate to either of those examples then you must be the one that sees an opportunity and doesn’t take it. There is nothing sadder than the woulda, it still makes angry to think of all the wouldas in my life. In the spirit of the trifecta of the would, coulda, shoulda I would like to share a few thoughts that I have always wanted to say but all names shall be removed, I’ll let you guess what the context of each can be. “dude your earwax is so bad its coming out of your ear….. I’m looking right at it.”
“nobody believes you had sex with anyone because you always smell like poop”
“holy crap, now heres a guy that doesn’t have a mirror at home”
“I’m not hungry anymore because I had to sit here looking at your face, what was I thinking”
“why do these guys keep talking about the size of their penis”
“damn you, that chin up counted you smelly pecker”
“that is an ugly baby but what else can you make with those genetics”
“I’m gonna tell these parents I’m a sex offender just so they don’t leave their kid with me”
“I wonder if she can tell I look at her boobs every time she looks away”
“I bet he has herpes”
“oh no he’s gonna give her herpes”
“is it just me or do strippers love dollar bills like Klondike bars”
“peeing on myself could be worse oh wait theres a puddle”
Today, this is gonna be short and sweet. Today I saw a movie called Hall Pass. This movie is supposed to be a comedy, it has its funny moments but I would put this movie in a section called “ha ha we fooled you thanks for the money.” I don’t like to give negative reviews to movies but it has been a real long time since a movie has angered me so much. It seems like this movie was written by a man hater who doesn’t understand how evolution ever took place without a woman overseeing everything. Don’t get me wrong I am very equal opportunity I believe women are just as stupid as men, on the flip side I also believe that men are just as smart as women and I cant stand it when people imply otherwise. This movie craps all over men but not just being dumb, I know we’re dumb, but being weak. This seemed like a personal attack so here is what I think.
There is a scene in this movie where the men just got caught doing something stupid and are now sitting in the back seat while the mother figures sit in the front seats and stop on the side of the road and begin to yell at their child like husbands. I will try to be clear on my opinion about this, any woman that treats their husband like this, regardless if he deserves it, just needs to get divorced. There is never a reason to talk down to anyone, I mean come on who do you think you are. Now to the man who lets his woman talk to him like this, you need to pick up your skirt grab your balls and start acting like a man. A man doesn’t need to talk down to a woman to be a man but if he gets talked down to like a child you don’t get to call yourself a man.
After the guys get their Hall Pass they try to go out and get chicks and obviously don’t know where to go to find a chick to sleep with, what the hell. These guys are so pathetic they go to Applebees to look for girls, which is funny, but what guy in their right mind would ever do that if he actually wanted to sleep with someone. I understand that the theme of this movie is for the guys to realize that they really don’t want to sleep with someone else but it also has almost nothing to do with love. Its more like not wanting to ruin something that has been built. A real man never gives up this much power in a relationship, these guys have practically castrated themselves as an offering on the alter of their wives vagina. PATHETIC!!!
The greatest statement of prevention of any of this is something I heard a long time ago, the man said, “we have a deal, if she ever doesn’t want me around all she has to do is tell me and I will leave with just the clothes on my back.” That is a MAN.
I hated this movie it gets 1 smelly finger and I bet you can guess which finger it is!!!
Today I had to run to the Post Office to mail some shirts that were ordered, Smellyfingertshirts.com check it out. Standing in any line is always kind of weird but there is something different about the Post Office. There were just so many things going through my head I thought I would share some of them.
Walking in the front doors the old lady in front of me held the door open and let it go about 1 or 2 seconds before I got there. “Is that still holding the door for me” “if I say thank you, is that going to sound sarcastic because its not holding the door for me” “ Maybe she is letting the door go because she doesn’t respect me” “I bet she doesn’t respect me because I’m wearing my X-Men shirt” “who doesn’t like the X-Men, its about social equality” “maybe she’s a racist” “I’ll fight a racist” “hitting an old lady would look bad on a resume” “what if I put, racist old lady, that would look better” “ why would I put that on a resume” “they might ask what the felony is for” “ I could say the felony is for standing up for my Mexican people”After I finally got in the door I had to stand in the line with the old lady in front of me and a freckle filled hottie behind me. “Is that chick behind me hot?” “yup she sure is” “I’m gonna pretend I’m looking outside to get a better look” “whoa she has a lot of freckles” “I wonder if I have a shot” “I bet my breath stinks” “yup it does” “Damn you X-Men for making me look nerdy” “I wonder if she likes the X-Men” “chicks that dig comic books are awesome” “Its been a long time since I’ve gone to the comic book store” “oh look I think she’s married” “creeping her out is still an option, that’s always fun” “I could stand shoulder to shoulder with and ask have you ever wondered how close is too close when your standing in line”Its my turn……
I realize this is not the real devastator its a cheap knock off I got from a Wal-Mart. This is only a test still trying to work some kinks out and maybe add some audio next time. Yes that is my dirty desk, in the background, you would think I would clean up first but I didnt think about it until the video was done. Hope you enjoy it!!!
The other day coming home from the movies I decided to go to Wal-Mart to pick up some things, the process was like it usually is, you know, painful. Everything you need is like half a block from each other and when you finally jog a mile to get all 3 things it is that you need now you have to deal with the check out process. I like to go to self check out just because there is no one there usually but this time, of course, there were 3 people and the first person acted like this was the first day without a loin cloth. Fumbling and stumbling around those stupid machines and yet getting no where, so what’s the brilliant idea I had, 20 items or less, but the person in front of you never has less. When I get in the new line the first person in the other line finally finishes, but I’ve gone too far to turn back now. Everything seems like its clear sailing to the car but the evil entity known as Wal-Mart still had one more trick up her shrewish sleeve. I was putting my things in the car and as usual gonna leave the basket out of the way in a big empty striped spot between the handicapped parking signs, totally out of anyones way. Then this lady, that I can only describe as small and skinny with big sunglasses, brings her shopping cart and just leaves it behind my car. I have to reverse to get out of the space and this stupid inconsiderate super skank looked at me and left it behind my car. I may have yelled a thing or two at her but nothing with real impact. So in the spirit of being a nice guy the following letter is for her and anyone that would ever do such a blatantly rude thing.
Dear Lady at Wal-Mart
Why did you put your basket right behind my car while I was standing there? Is it because someone wronged you? Were you molested as a child or perhaps beaten by your foster parents? If you were in a hurry you could have asked me and I would have put it away for you but you didn’t. You chose to go out of your way to make someone elses day just a little bit worse for no reason. I don’t hate you, as a matter of fact I pitty you because small minds think in small ways. If I were a different person or in a really bad mood I would have taken that basket back to your car and picked it up and thrown it at you, but I try to be a nice person. I am not angry but just need clarification, I don’t understand people that do things like that. I don’t think you’re a bad person but I think if that behavior continues you stand a real good chance of meeting some nice guy on a day that he isn’t feeling so nice.
There are some people that are just born to do what they do, Al Madrigal was a born comedian. I first saw this guy on a dvd with a bunch of other comics who have had way more exposure. Al Madrigal went first and completely stole the show at the beginning, everyone else was funny but this guy had that special thing that makes their comedy last. He is still what people consider an up and comer but he is one of the funniest comedians that I have ever heard. Mexican comedy is usually where Mexican comedians end up, but this guy has a unique style and doesn’t rely on his own race to make his comedy work.
The unique observations of Al Madrigal make hit one of the funniest young comedians that I have ever heard. Storytelling is also one of this mans many talents, the stories that he tells about him and his family are fantastic. Much of his comedy is inspired by his wife and his children and his observations of them. His latest album, that is only semi released, he isn’t happy with it because of a stupid audience member, but can be found on his website for real cheap, Cholos on a Moped is a great piece of work. Even including the “Oh guy” in the audience this album is so hilarious I recommend it to anyone that loves to laugh.
Remember the name of Al Madrigal he just got on the Daily show so keep an eye out for this comedic force
Remember the good ol days when all it took was an extra cookie in your lunch box. As an adult those days are over, unless you have a cookie I can have, and you have to use something else, jokes. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. Have you ever met a nice person just to find out that they are dryer than beef jerky, always a sad day. Even the evil boss that hates everybody, it almost makes this art a necessity for the career minded. But there are no universal rules it all depends on the kind of friends your trying to make.
If your very opinionated and wonder why no one likes you, you don’t have to look any further than the things you say. The first rule of getting people to like you is keeping your big mouth shut.(this doesn’t go for everyone just the people who qualify for the opinion Olympics) I grew up a shy kid and I found out that most people form an opinion of you before you say anything. This strategy tends to work in the long run because the people that come up to you are very likeable people. Being friends with a well known good person puts you on peoples good side as soon as they associate them with you. For now lets not focus on the passive approach.
Favors are a great way to make friends. I remember someone saying to me, “ that guys is awesome because whenever he has money he will buy.” This was a foreign concept to me because I lived in the world where everyone should like you for no other reason than being a great person. I have done social experiments with the favor or the “cookie method” as I like to call it. The method is very easy, find a person you would like to be friends with strike up a conversation and pay for lunch(or whatever meal it is, you know what I mean). Suddenly when this person thinks of you they associate you with something positive just like a kid giving you a cookie and then becoming friends. Positive reinforcement is the real term but still works as long as you can keep conversation cool and casual.
Stay tuned for more tips on How to make people like you.
This movie had the potential to be really bad and there were a lot of people that were expecting it to be, I just might even have been one of those people. I was wrong. Green Lantern was a great summer blockbuster. There were parts that seemed a bit neglected but overall was a great movie. Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan makes a great Green Lantern. I love reading the Green Lantern comics but sometimes 2 hours just isn’t enough time to truly do justice to a character or group of characters that already have a very loyal fan base(but hey, I’m happy I got to see a Green Lantern movie)
The graphics were so amazing with characters like Sinestro and Kilowog(two of my favorites…. Poozer). Character design was something I was interested in seeing when I went to see this movie. We all know what the characters look like in the comic book but I wanted to see what they looked like when a computer animator was going for realistic, they did not dissapoint. I loved the way the Guardians, Green Lanters, and Oa looked. Hal Jordan training was probably one of the cooler parts of the movie, getting a chance to see Kilowog push around the soon to be great Hal Jordan. Sinestro even got his hand in there and destroyed the constructs of Hal and pushed him to the point of quitting.
The Green Lantern corps is always a source of inspiration for loyal fans, the basic idea is having an iron will creates infinite possibilities, and that’s something anyone, not just comic book nerds, can believe in.
PS - stay for the credits its really cool.
I give this movie 5 Smelly Fingers because it wasn’t the best acted movie but it’s a need to see for this comic nerd.
