Creepy Chinese Fashion Strikes- The Facekini

There are a few reasons that China will never be like America and this is one of the biggest reasons. A complete lack of fashion sense that is so sad its hilarious. Don’t get me wrong I think China is an awesome place full of a great people and history but fashion has never been their strong suit.

China is responsible for some of the worst trends in the world like bootlegging electronics, lead in toys, and Jackie Chan movies…. I’m just kidding on that last one. But the worst thing that has ever come out of China since Sars is the Facekini. Such a hilariously creepy piece of dysfunctional clothing to keep swimmers and beach goers free from getting a tan or sunburned all while looking like a burn victim. I must say when China collectively looks through their year book 20 years from now the disbelief at what a mistake the face sock is going to shock them. Plus we already have this thing its called a ski mask, people use it to ski and rob liquor stores.

I want someone to tell me why in the world this would ever be considered fashionable. Is being pale seen as a good quality in China, its culture I guess but if that’s what you want then stay inside wear a hat and deal with it like the rest of us. There is no reason to go outside looking like a professional Mexican wrestler that is about to hold a childs cartoon at gunpoint.

I cant wait to see the effects of this mask. With only your eyes and mouth showing and your not going to be shy about being inside because the mask fixes everything, then tell me one thing, are the tan lines around your eyes and mouth helping bring in the dates. These people are going to look like they had an eyes and mouth donation from Brazil all the while thinking they look hot in their burn mask.

Hats off to you China, of all the things you have done this is definitely the funniest!

Masturbation Sex Toy Mistaken For Rare Mushroom in China

A mushroom like object was found by local villagers in  Xi'an, Shaanxi, China who did not know what it was.  They gathered around and collectively assumed it was a mushroom.  As you can see they kept it in a bucket because that seems like the most reasonable thing to do with a giant mutaded mushroom thing, right? 

"Come on everyone get together, now we're gonna call the media and become rich and famous because of what we found"

This reminds me of that scene in Joe Dirt where he's eating off of the frozen poop rock.  There are lips on 1 side and a hole on the other to simulate a vagina and an anus.  Nobody in the village had ever seen anything like this.  So it stands to reason no one in the village has ever seen an anus or a vagina, lots of missionary with the blankets on to hide their shame where they come from.

I saw this and I had to share it.  This makes me want to go get one and carry it around in a bucket.