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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Top 10 Reasons Facebook Can Make You Crazy

I have always had a fascination with Facebook but not in a good way( I don’t mean that in a dirty way). I didn’t understand (and I still don’t) what compels a person to put 500 pictures of themselves on a Facebook page. I used to know a guy that talked in Facebook updates, short little sentences to let you know what he’s been doing and the only way to show approval was to give him a thumbs up (that guy almost drove me insane until I started taking naps when we worked together). I’m an old fashioned kind of guy though, if I want to talk to someone I will usually go visit them, Facebook is like looking in your friends window with all his other friends gathered around you. Which brings me to the first reason in my top 10 list of why Facebook will drive you crazy-

10. It lets you know how many friends you have…. Or in my case don’t have. (awww, sad face)

9. Pictures of food. Nobody cares what you ate for dinner(We all know your fat…. Because we know you). This one drives me up the wall, It makes me want to show you what my food looks like when I’m done with it( that’s right folks, it’s a poop joke).

8. Racism. Its funny to know what your friends think when they forget who’s watching. Racism has never been so entertaining! As long as it doesn’t offend you.

7. Finding a Yearbook becomes a research project. When you cross reference your yearbook with Facebook you feel like a Private Investigator and a stalker. When hot chicks stay hot a little piece of me dies inside.

6. Facebook invites people to snoop into your life. Just because your friends can view your page doesn’t mean that they should memorize it.

5. Horrible spelling. Being a horrible speller on the internet is like having a speech impediment, everybody knows what you mean but chances are your gonna get made fun of.

4. Awkward status updates. “Hey everyone, I just had Sex!” I’m sure my Pastor and my Aunt Milly will love that one.

3. Reliving the mundane. Yes I remember that time, do you know why…. It might be because I was there, as a matter of fact we are still here!

2. Annoying phone reminders. I feel bad for anyone that has lots of friends and has their phone connected to Facebook. It’s a great way to lose friends or just start hating them.

And my number 1 reason Facebook can drive you crazy….

1. Pictures. I hate pictures so much. So many people are recording their life and I’m coming up behind them trying to edit myself out. “Hey where were you for that picture” Me- “Oh, I uh went to the bathroom”

All in all Facebook can be fun but I want to see the research in a few years that shows how Facebook is the leading cause of Manslaughter for ages 30 to 40.

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