Popular Science reports that while it was trendy to eat like a caveman, mostly meat, why stop there. Go even further back and eat like an Ape. I know there is a difference between monkeys and apes but I like the word monkey way more so that’s what I’m gonna use. This was an interesting idea because the caveman diet was in for a while and the whole idea behind it was to feed your body things it evolved eating and Pop. Sci. is talking about going even further back. I like it.
There isn’t much more in this world that I like more than monkeys. I so wish I could throw poop at others already and unless they’re a pet they never even have to wear pants….. I’m so jealous. Other than captivity though when have you ever seen a fat monkey, never, that’s when. But also for all the fat people that don’t want to give up eating meat, (thanks caveman diet) when have you ever seen a monkey take his spear in his hand and hunt down lunch? You haven’t and there lies the key to losing weight, fatso (this is kind of a letter to myself, so I’m fatso not you). If we evolved from monkeys or at least a common ancestor as monkeys then it would stand to reason that we should have a very similar diet, right? I never saw any monkeys in line at Subway, Jared.
If you think for a minute you will realize that we are not the strongest or anywhere near the fastest animal out there so if we ate meat on a regular basis it would be weaker, slower and smaller than us. What animal fits that description, none of them because they need to survive and if it wasn’t for our brain we would be solely plant eating animals or like monkeys digging into ant holes with a stick looking for lunch. Have you ever tried to catch a mouse with your bear hands, trust me its hard. Even Rocky had a hard time catching the chicken….. And that was Rocky! Animals with sharp teeth eat meat and animals with flat teeth with a jaw that can move side to side eat veggies, which one do we have. Both, we have our K9s to rip meat and our very mobile jaw to chew up plant products. That indicates that we were more of scavengers than we were really hunters and our brain is what really allowed us to become hunters. So how do you lose weight like our ancestors…… EAT LESS FATSO!
We have switched from throwing poop to shooting bullets. You saw Planet Of The Apes once they learn how to make spears its all downhill from there. Maybe if we go back to poop throwing the world will be a better place.
Just as a side note, did you know that “fatso” doesn’t come up as misspelled?
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