Finding Out If You Have Super Powers Comic

We all remember being kids and trying to find out if we had super powers. it was an awkward time but you never really believed that you didnt have super powers.  I knew it deep down that if I just believed i could finally do it! So remember kids... just believe and have health insurance!

Smellyfingertshirts.com- The New Website Is Up

Well ive been working on it for a while but the official website for Smelly Finger Tshirts is finally up.   I am so excited about finally having it live, its still a bit of a work in progress but its totally functional.  If you are unfamiliar with Smelly Finger Tshirts or even if you are super familiar with us I invite you to head on over to smellyfingertshirts.com and take a tour of our new digs. 

I print all the shirts myself and I use great quality t-shirts and inks.  I have a blast designing the shirts and printing them, I never even thought I would ever be the guy that enjoyed his work.  But I do, it makes me feel good to know that I am making people smile or feel uncomfortable all over the world (I’ll take what I can get).

The reason I started making shirts is because first I love wearing weird and funny shirts but whenever I would go try and buy some they never had my size or I felt like the joke had been on a thousand other shirts.  I wanted something that was unique and funny with a slight offensive edge to it not some rip off of a rip off of a rip off (you get the point).  So I taught myself how to screen print on demand instead of having to create a huge inventory of untested shirts. 

I’m still figuring it out and doing it all myself so I need your help to get the word out (especially since I don’t know anything about internet marketing)!

Stinkin Monkees 15- Easy Go

Here we have our hero thinking he has a girlfriend but as soon as he turns around to meet his friends shes gone.  How many of us can relate to this kind of thing, sure you probably didnt lose a girlfriend in the blink of and eye or even so fast that she left a cloud of dust but maybe you thought you had something you really didnt have in a relationship. The poor guy was probably so in love he couldnt see the forrest for the trees.  All I know is I can relate to that last panel. That one hurts!

Evolution And Chainsaws

I just read an article on Discovery News that was talking about how our ancestors had better teeth than we do. That just seems like a no brainer because our ancestors never had to deal with a meth addiction did they. They also didn’t have to deal with preservatives and sugar….. I think. Its not that hard to have better teeth than us nowadays. But that seems like a shameful thing to admit because our ancestors smelled like poop because they threw it in anger and fire was like their ipod.

Dentists are more like a tire store fixing a flat than preventing horrible things happening to your teeth. A dentist is there to fix all the problems you are having or even pulling out your teeth and putting in new ones, no one really sees a problem with that. What the hell are we doing to our teeth as a people that we have to food and stress proof our teeth.

I have even met a guy that had two rows of teeth, he made me feel bad about complaining about my poor crooked teeth, I don’t really complain but this guys just made me feel bad. He looked like someone pulled him out of the old total recall, you know the one with crazy deformed people not the one that looks like it was filmed inside of people magazine. It seems to be a fairly common thing to have two rows of teeth. Im guessing this is evolution, this could be nature trying to save us a little money on the dentists or this is the step just before teeth start moving like the chain of a chainsaw. I don’t know about you but I am looking forward to the chainsaw teeth because one day our chainsaw teeth offspring are going to look back on us and wonder how we ate with just one row of non moving teeth.

Bring it on evolution!

Stinkin Monkies 14- I Love Church

I think Church kids remember way better than they like it as adults for this very reason.  The more I think about it, the more I notice how much i used to sleep through church.  I actually have a memories of sleeping curled up under a bench and being totally left alone.  Good Times!  Church sleep has got to be some of the best sleep ever created.  I dont think you should get mad at people when they fall asleep in church because Jesus said you have to be like a child, and who sleeps more in church than a child.  Enjoy!

Stinkin Monkies 13- Silly Hipsters

If you've ever seen a hipster then you know exactly what its like to just want to go up to them and start laughing.  Hipsters are so silly, from the way they dress to the fact that they think they're all unique by being the same.  They make me laugh because they wear girl pants, skinny jeans, you can call them what you want but they only look good on girls. Enjoy!

Stinkin Monkies 12- Do What I Say

Dont you hate it when this happens?  I hate it when this happens and I dont even have kids. This recently happened to me and it drove me insane, not literally though.  This is one of those scenarios that single and parentless people run through their heads, we all know you cant really do it but it just seems like a real great way to deal with a problem child.  Hope you enjoy it! 

Stinkin Monkies 11- Who Wants Candy?

I'm trying something new this time.  Making a comic strip for little kids is fun but I'm gonna see if I can make some adults laugh.  This strip was inspired by every teacher and adult in my life that always said to never take candy from strangers.  I dont know about you but I was never offered any candy from anyone.  Was I not a sexy kid?  My feelings were hurt.  But our little monkey buddy here is caught with the old candy on a string trick. Enjoy!

Monkey Diet Tips

Popular Science reports that while it was trendy to eat like a caveman, mostly meat, why stop there. Go even further back and eat like an Ape. I know there is a difference between monkeys and apes but I like the word monkey way more so that’s what I’m gonna use. This was an interesting idea because the caveman diet was in for a while and the whole idea behind it was to feed your body things it evolved eating and Pop. Sci. is talking about going even further back. I like it.

There isn’t much more in this world that I like more than monkeys. I so wish I could throw poop at others already and unless they’re a pet they never even have to wear pants….. I’m so jealous. Other than captivity though when have you ever seen a fat monkey, never, that’s when. But also for all the fat people that don’t want to give up eating meat, (thanks caveman diet) when have you ever seen a monkey take his spear in his hand and hunt down lunch? You haven’t and there lies the key to losing weight, fatso (this is kind of a letter to myself, so I’m fatso not you). If we evolved from monkeys or at least a common ancestor as monkeys then it would stand to reason that we should have a very similar diet, right? I never saw any monkeys in line at Subway, Jared.

If you think for a minute you will realize that we are not the strongest or anywhere near the fastest animal out there so if we ate meat on a regular basis it would be weaker, slower and smaller than us. What animal fits that description, none of them because they need to survive and if it wasn’t for our brain we would be solely plant eating animals or like monkeys digging into ant holes with a stick looking for lunch. Have you ever tried to catch a mouse with your bear hands, trust me its hard. Even Rocky had a hard time catching the chicken….. And that was Rocky! Animals with sharp teeth eat meat and animals with flat teeth with a jaw that can move side to side eat veggies, which one do we have. Both, we have our K9s to rip meat and our very mobile jaw to chew up plant products. That indicates that we were more of scavengers than we were really hunters and our brain is what really allowed us to become hunters. So how do you lose weight like our ancestors…… EAT LESS FATSO!

We have switched from throwing poop to shooting bullets. You saw Planet Of The Apes once they learn how to make spears its all downhill from there. Maybe if we go back to poop throwing the world will be a better place.

Just as a side note, did you know that “fatso” doesn’t come up as misspelled?

Stinkin Monkies 9- Cowboys and Monkies

Here it is another episode of Stinkin Monkies. Making your own comic strip is really fun because where else are you going to see monkey children make a whiskey joke around a jacked up cat..... only on the Internet, thats where. Hope you enjoy it!

Stinkin Monkies 7

Its that time of the week again, and time for another round of Stinkin Monkies.  This is strip 7 of my weekly comic strip.  Fart jokes are always funny and I think it was about time the monkies did one. Hope you enjoy it!

Single People Hate Your Kids- My First Animation

This is my first animation called Single People Hate Your Kids.   I used Anime Studio Debut 6 and it took me about 1 month to make this.  It took that long because I only worked on it in my spare time between writting a blog, drawing practice, making t-shirts, working on a podcast, and working on new designs for shirts.  It was a lot of fun to make but it takes way longer than you think it would take.  I'm hoping the next one will have audio.  There will be a post in the future to help anyone that would like to play around with Anime Studio Debut 6 (because its the only one I have).

Just so you know I dont hate kids but I cant stand those brat kids at the store that need to get jumpkicked. I dont think you should ever beat a kid but sometimes you cant help but fantasize about it while that dirty kid stares at you while he's throwing a fit on the dirty floor.