Just Say No To Skinny Jeans!!!!

There is nothing more frustrating to me than seeing a boy/man wearing what looks to be a womans pants. I don’t understand what goes into the decision for a guy to dress like a woman. I’m not even passing judgment on someone dressing in drag because they say “Hey look at me I’m dressed like a woman” where people that wear skinny jeans say “What do you mean these are mens pants.”

I’m writing this because I found a video on Youtube where a dad did the ultimate thing and took video of his son wearing skinny jeans and did his best to embarrass him. I am totally behind this kind of behavior, there are way too many people making a fool of themselves and for some reason its wrong to call them out on it. Here is a dad taking a stand against a trend that is making this nations youth look like they “stole midget pants.”

Bravo dad, bravo!

Is Counting To 4 Scary?

Popular Science reports that geneticist in Canada have taught a breed of fruit flies to count to four. It has only taken them 40 generations (they must have smoked a lot of weed in that breed). I’m sure the scientists were high 5ing each other but I remember something else that started out like this….. Planet Of The Apes.

Maybe I’m just paranoid but there are already a bazillion of flies around the world but it seems to me the last thing we need to do is help them develop the skills necessary to take over the world more than they already have. Math and language are the building blocks of society. We just gave flies 1 and we assume they don’t have the other but I’m sure they can communicate with each other. Even if they kill them all I’m sure 1 will get away in a sort of Outbreak scenario (that movie is where most of my ideas about the disease originate).

Once the fly escapes its only a matter of time until he becomes the Einstein of the fly world and gives them the fly equivalent of the atomic bomb with his theories. He’ll end up having children and passing along the necessary requirements to do his complicated levels of math and from there the ball will be rolling. Soon the flies will find a way to defeat all the predators in their food chain and then will become top of the food chain and it will just be a matter of time before they dominate our food chain.

All this because some scientist thought it would be cool to make money showing flies how to count….. Or maybe I’m just paranoid.

Stinkin Monkies 8

Here's the Stinkin Monkies strip for the week.  It took a little longer than usual because I was trying out a new style of inking. This was done with a rapidograph and traced over with inkscape.  I was in such a hurry I left out a few steps but I think over all it looks a lot better this time. Hope you enjoy it!

Smells Like Crap Talkin Podcast- Smells Like Anger- Episode 4

The Podcast is a little early this week folks and the comic strip will be out tomorrow. Got a little behind this week.  This podcast has a little open mic talk and a little anger about an outing to the store.

Gay Border Fence?

I finally have come up with the perfect solution to people crossing the border. It’s a 2 for 1 because the ones that are causing all the “hu-bub” are the conservatives, so I have a solution that could help everyone calm down a little. Here’s the main idea of the whole thing, we, as a country, should create a new border fence but it should be made out of gay people (I don’t mean that in a bad way, keep reading).

I mean think about how awesome that would be, you’re a Mexican that is thinking of going to America and work for below minimum wage and best case scenario is people protest to have your kids thrown out of the country. Well while you are on your trek to America you reach the border and you behold one of the most disturbing sites for any traditional conservatively raised catholic born Mexican….. A line of gay people as far as the eye can see all holding hands like a giant international game of Red Rover.

This will fix more problems than it seems. 1^st the only Mexicans that will come over here are the ones that are a little open minded and really really determined to be here. 2^nd this will cut down illegal immigration by at least half. 3^rd this will flood the border and southern towns full of gay people and in time it will create a new area in the country where open minded people can congregate. The more conservative and angry intolerant people will either die or move away but they cant move north, people think there, they cant move west, people are a little weird there, so they will be forced to move to a state directly in the middle of the country. It will create a new country where open mindedness is spread over the entire thing and the crazy conservative vote will be pulled back to a minimum.

Problem Solved! I told you it was good.

Real Americans Don’t Have Tattoos?

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that tattoos are getting in the way of people getting their visas (and I don’t mean the credit card). I didn’t know this actually happened, you know I saw Scarface too, but I didn’t know that law enforcement was getting their ideas from the movies.

I understand that there is a reason for doing what they do but at the same time you can take things too far. Like for instance Arizona, they have made racially profiling legal or at the very least acceptable. What the hell is that about? I’m starting to see a pattern emerge here and it seems to be against a people that look like the villains in the movies.  It seem like no one can look into history and just see the atrocities done bye this country and then think, “Hey, maybe we’re wrong this time like all the other times we were scarred of something?”

There are tattoos that are associated with gangs but isn’t that the whole thing about a tattoo, they don’t go away so you really don’t know when they got it. It could be a souvenir from a rebellious childhood or just a bad decision. Just because you did a short google search for an image that you like and didn’t research what it was about, now you cant live in America…. Seems like there’s a problem with the rules instead of the people. So why are you coming down on the tattooed guy coming in the country when its this country that was empowering the cartels to begin with. This doesn’t make sense to me, its like feeding your kid a ton of candy then spanking him because he has cavities.

Not Today 2012- Space Weather Forecast?

According to Wired.co.uk there is a new instrument that will help our ability in predicting Space Weather. I never knew that was a problem. Like everyone else I saw the movie Day After Tomorrow with Jake Gyllenhaal and 2012 with John Cusack so I am aware that space weather is a bit of an issue but then again these were just movies, right?

I’m not saying that any of that stuff doesn’t have a basis in reality and I’m not even saying that I don’t love the show Ancient Aliens. What I am saying is that if you know its coming that still isn’t gonna make me feel any better about it. I know we need to know things about stuff (that really sounds like an intelligent thing to say doesn’t it) but there are reasons we need to know. For example if there is a bomb coming and an alarm goes off that means “Hey everyone we figured out that there is something coming and you need to hide or it’s a guarantee you’ll get blown to smithereens!” That is where something like that will come in handy. But on the other hand if an alarm goes off and they send out the message “Hey everyone guess what we figured out? There is a solar storm coming and its going to obliterate the entire planet no matter where you’re hiding so pray to any deity you see fit or hope to meet and we’ll see you on the other side….. Bye!” That seems like the kind of message I would rather you keep to yourself.

I would like to watch the Space Weather Channel though. “Our seven day forecast is clear and dark with a wind gusts at 0 miles per hour, slight chance of meteor showers around Saturn on Tuesday, but we wont see it. There is a black hole developing 35 million light years from here, but we wont see it. And finally in 5 billion years the Sun will go Red giant but we wont see it. That’s right folks I get paid to say the same thing every Sunday, now I’m gonna go drink but you wont see it!” I would watch that!

Fortune Cookies Suck

I went to each Chinese food today (because its awesome) and I was reminded of one of my greatest nemesis….. The fortune cookie. I wish fortune cookies were real and then they could hand them out before you sit down and then you might know if your going to have horrible service. The waiter we had sucked today but that has nothing to do with what I’m trying to say, maybe it does because he threw the cookie in our face before we were ready to leave. What a butt hole.

The fortune cookie is like the music during any award show, if you take too long, throw it out there and just watch the people get uncomfortable until they leave. Hey, waiter, does my fortune cookie have the name of a new restaurant that I can go eat at or do you wanna see how much its gonna tell me to tip you. I’ll give you a hint what its gonna tell me to tip you, its one of the digits from my lottery number on the back. I have always wondered if anyone uses that lottery number but I don’t play the lottery so its just one more thing the fortune cookie uses to mock me.

Then comes the fortune itself which for me is the worst part of the whole experience because I just sit there and watch everyone open their fortune cookie and be pleasantly surprised. When I open my fortune cookie it never says anything of any relevance to me and my life. Everyone else gets you’re going to make a business deal, or friends are in your future. The type of thing where you go “Oh I wonder who it will be.” Where as my fortune always reads something like “pants have pockets” or todays “fortune” was basically “hope helps.” Like it knew I was a sad person and this little piece of stupid paper is going to be the only thing that keeps me from going over the edge. Stupid fortune cookies.

Smells Like Crap Talkin Podcast- Smells Like Bitterness- Episode 3

Another week another episode of Smells Like Crap Talkin.  In this podcast I go on about my first job, the responsibility of dogs, having sex for money, and I answer a question.  Hope you enjoy listening.

Stinkin Monkies 7

Its that time of the week again, and time for another round of Stinkin Monkies.  This is strip 7 of my weekly comic strip.  Fart jokes are always funny and I think it was about time the monkies did one. Hope you enjoy it!