Smells Like Crap Talkin Podcast- Smells Like Pee- Episode 2

Here is the New Episode of Smells Like Crap Talkin- the official podcast of smellyfingertshirts.com. This episode is called Smells Like Pee because in it I talk of getting kicked out of the library, living in the ghetto, and taking a pee pee on myself.  Hope you enjoy it!

Stinkin Monkies 6

Well, another week and another episode of Stinkin Monkies. I'm still developing the character if you notice "ears" (I still havent come up with a name yet) talks with an sh instead of a regular s. But I'm still working on it, I hope you enjoy the jokes.

Back stories and animated shorts (maybe) coming soon.

Are PC Users Poor?

Well, somebody finally did the research that I have been dreading since the ipod got popular. Thanks to Orbitz the thing we all knew but never talked about is that the Mac user has and spends more money than the PC user (Just so you know I’m typing this on a pc).

I think the only reason that it became a story for the papers is because only Mac users and old people will spend their money on Newspapers. If you didn’t at least suspect this already then you are probably still poking around with a floppy disk drive. Is this really news to anyone? Do you know why I use a pc? I’ll give you a hint, its not out of preference. Yeah those things are expensive compared to a $300 dollar cheap computer you can pick up on sale at Wal-Mart (that’s now where I got mine, it was a different sale).

I have another news flash (I’m gonna be sending out press releases later) people who drive a Mercedes have lost of disposable income on average. I don’t even have to take a poll or track your internet use to find that out. I figured it out when I tried to buy one and put my hand in my pocket and only felt my leg.

Just because Orbitz got caught with their hand in the cookie jar is no reason to come down on them. Orbitz is only pulling from a tree of apples that has plenty of apples to go around (that’s easier than learning how to stretch your apples).

Hello Kitty Has An Airline?

Am I the last one to find this out? Did you know this, why didn’t you tell me? Don’t worry I’m not mad. But now that we both know lets make fun of it!

I don’t understand why you would want an airplane with Hello Kitty on the side. I don’t know if they know but I don’t think this is an area where little kids have any say with their parents. “Mommy, Daddy can we please go on the Hello Kitty airplane because I know what you really want is to be locked in a giant metal tube flying through the air at 300 mph with kids everywhere bouncing off the walls, right?

Well I guess if you think about it the market you’re excluding by making a Hello Kitty airline is much smaller than the people included like children, little girls, former little girls, and the plain ol girly.

So maybe I’m just being a stupid guy when the only market left out is men….. Maybe my feelings are hurt. Maybe by creating such a fun looking thing for everyone but the male market makes me feel left out a little. Maybe I think Marvel should start their own airlines. I would feel safe in the air if I were riding with Wolverine.

Dam you Hello Kitty for letting me know these things are possible.

Anarchy In Mormon Utah

It finally happened and crazy has taken over Utah…. If you don’t count the whole starting your own religion, multiple wives, and knocking on everyones door until they go crazy. It seems the things children do can be in the news.

Here’s what happened, a 13 year old girl cut the hair of a 3 year old girl with dollar store scissors (so she’s mean and poor). To top it off this same 13 year old got in trouble for harassing a girl in Colorado over the phone.

The first thing I have to say is “Why the hell is this in the news!” Now that I got that off my chest, lets discuss this issue. If you live in Colorado and someone in Utah is harassing you, it better be because they have a car. Your getting harassed over the phone so much that you have to bring the law into it? Do you know how phones work? Cant you block the number or at the very least hang up? I can just see this girl with her phone on speaker and curled up on the floor in her room crying while insults hurl through the room. Or maybe the bullying came through Facebook because that’s where the tough people are hanging out these days. Facebook is the nemesis of all who are a little awkward on the internet.

Here’s a tip (that you should never ever actually do) for people getting bullied on Facebook- If there is someone getting on you really hard go to their facebook page and find their friends, pick one create a new profile with their name so this person can friend you. Then get their email address and bombard every inbox of this persons you can get with porn….. Problem solved.

I just thought I would share something that I found funny. More on how to solve your Bully problems later.

　

Source- Associated Press

Yo Mamma Jokes Suck

Anytime I’m trying to write something funny or even remotely funny the show Yo Mamma comes to mind (I’m not even sure if that’s how you spell it). I tried to like that show, I really did. There was 1 thing that determined the outcome of that show and that’s performance. Let me give you the 1 joke that ended my love affair with yo mamma jokes. The guy said, “Yo Mamma is so stupid she wears open toed Timbalands.”

Let me focus on the one part of that disaster of a yo mamma joke that realls disturbs me. This joke implies that stupid people wear open toed timbalands. Now a boot without a toe is a bit humorous but as a yo mamma joke, I mean was I the only person at home that that turned the tv off after that. My first question was What the hell does that even mean? I know what an open toed shoe is but why is that hilarious as a put down to someone.

The joke was bad enough but then the crowd reaction was even worse, I think I hate this joke because they loved it so much. Right after this turd of a joke left this guys mouth the crowd went wild. Luckily I had my DVR that way I could rewind it because I must have missed something. But sitting there on my couch I came to the realization it wasn’t the joke that got the praise but the performance of the joke.

Whats the point of a joke if all you have to do is do a little dance and all of a sudden a stupid joke becomes a good joke. This one little piece of tv has made me swear off of Yo Mamma jokes all together. Well, I not only stopped using them I loathe them now. Every yo mamma joke I hear now sounds like stupid open toed timbalands.

Ridicule, that’s where its at.

New Podcast- Smells Like Crap Talkin- Episode 1- Smells Like Hate Mail

 

Whats up everybody! Today I present to you the new and Official podcast of Smellyfingertshirts.com. Have you wondered what I sound like, well wonder no more.

 

This podcast is called Smells Like Crap Talkin, and todays episode is called Smells Like Hate Mail.  Today I go into a rant about the Hate mail that I recieved on Ebay of all places.  I talk a little about my self and some of my faults. I'll also tell you a little story about where the name Smelly Finger Tshirts comes from. 

Stinkin Monkies 5

Here is the new strip and the kids are getting into trouble like always.  I think Grampas teeth had it coming if you ask me.

How Did Black Face Make Its Way On Dragon Ball Z

I was watching an episode of Dragon Ball Z, one of my favorite shows of all time, when I saw something that finally just made me ask, How does that happen? It was Mr. Popo (I think that’s spelled right) this guy is kind of just an extra type character but hangs out throughout the entire thing. This guy has been drawn with, what I think, a deliberate black face.

At first, when I would watch the show I would just think, “Holy crap, that guys really black!” Then you start to notice that there are no other black characters on the show. Everyone on the show comes from a planet, even earth is filled with earthly anthropomorphized cartoon characters like pigs and dogs. But this guy doesn’t look like anyone outside of a racist cartoon drawing. There are other characters with the same exaggerated lips and were different colors but to me it seemed more like an attempt at justifying drawing that one character the way they did.

So, my question is, How does this type of stuff end up on TV? This cartoon is an anime so it first got on tv in Japan, right? What do those people have against black people. I have never heard of negative stereotypes coming from Asians against black people, unless I am totally unaware of them.

The Robot Apocalypse Cometh

I was reading Discovery News and to my horror I saw an article that read “Baby Robot Learns First Words.” Did we learn nothing from The Matrix, don’t teach it anything! We have all seen the walking and dancing robots and now a “baby” robot learns it first words, come on!

If you look at human development, first we develop individual parts while we’re in the womb, of course not one at a time but all together. This has been happening for years for robots with the invention of the computer. The computer is eventually going to be a fully developed brain for a robot but before that can happen the rest of the body needs to be built. All of the other body parts are being developed too as prosthetics and advancements in robot development. There are scientist working on the development of robot eye tracking and the Japanese are even doing their best to make them look as human and creepy as possible. Next thing you know they're coming back in time to become our governors. 

No matter how cool it seems even if they’re killing us in some movies you cant trust the robots. They always look cool in every movie like Terminator, The Matrix, Irobot, The Day The Earth Stood Still, and many others just like them but don’t trust it. I have recently come across an episode of The Outer Limits where a scientist mapped his sons brain after he died and put it into a robot. You wanna know how creepy a robot is that acts like a person, check this clip out and then ask yourself if advances in robotics are going to be our end or at the very least be really really creepy.