Pedophile Holidays Are Coming

I was staring at my neighbors through the blinds I began to think about the upcoming holiday. Halloween was an awesome holiday when I could go around to the neighbors houses and ask for candy even if I didn’t have a costume, because we were poor and cheap. But that happened until my parents remembered that we were poor and lived in a bad neighborhood. They finally woke up to the idea of playing Pedophile Russian roulette with all the houses around us. It just seemed like a bad idea walking around from drug dealer house to drug dealer house in the dark hoping they don’t let their fighting dogs out to kill my whole family. I remember going trick or treating 1 time and I was kind of bitter about that we didn’t do it more until I sat down and thought about it.

Halloween has got to be one of the creepiest holidays that there are, not only in the childhood story ways of scaring your kids. Other than the occult viewpoint of the holiday, the scare stories started with the old razor in the candy and that only happened in an isolated incident. But Halloween is a holiday where everyone gets to practice pedophile marketing. You have to let the kiddies know that there is candy in your house and it’s the kind they like….. isn’t that what pedophiles do all year round. Even this new idea of Trunk or Treat is a horrible idea, you don’t need to create the positive link of candy and your SUV. Once again this is something that pedophiles try to do all the time. Halloween should be a fun holiday but there is no real way to get candy from strangers without letting your kids think its OK to get candy from strangers.

I just need to make a quick mention of Christmas for parents, stop letting your kid sit on Santas lap. Kids are not stupid there is a reason they cry. Uncle Grabby Hands wants to be Santa because it’s the easiest way to get kids to sit on his boner. Its even worse than Halloween because free candy is cool but free toys are really awesome. As an adult I would still sit on Santas lap if I was guaranteed some toys. I’m not gay but some free toys is worth a small crying session…. Well at least to me.

So the moral of the story is….. you cant win when it comes to your kids, Good Luck Parents!!!!