A Letter To A Lady At Wal-Mart

The other day coming home from the movies I decided to go to Wal-Mart to pick up some things, the process was like it usually is, you know, painful. Everything you need is like half a block from each other and when you finally jog a mile to get all 3 things it is that you need now you have to deal with the check out process. I like to go to self check out just because there is no one there usually but this time, of course, there were 3 people and the first person acted like this was the first day without a loin cloth. Fumbling and stumbling around those stupid machines and yet getting no where, so what’s the brilliant idea I had, 20 items or less, but the person in front of you never has less. When I get in the new line the first person in the other line finally finishes, but I’ve gone too far to turn back now. Everything seems like its clear sailing to the car but the evil entity known as Wal-Mart still had one more trick up her shrewish sleeve. I was putting my things in the car and as usual gonna leave the basket out of the way in a big empty striped spot between the handicapped parking signs, totally out of anyones way. Then this lady, that I can only describe as small and skinny with big sunglasses, brings her shopping cart and just leaves it behind my car. I have to reverse to get out of the space and this stupid inconsiderate super skank looked at me and left it behind my car. I may have yelled a thing or two at her but nothing with real impact. So in the spirit of being a nice guy the following letter is for her and anyone that would ever do such a blatantly rude thing.

Dear Lady at Wal-Mart

Why did you put your basket right behind my car while I was standing there? Is it because someone wronged you? Were you molested as a child or perhaps beaten by your foster parents? If you were in a hurry you could have asked me and I would have put it away for you but you didn’t. You chose to go out of your way to make someone elses day just a little bit worse for no reason. I don’t hate you, as a matter of fact I pitty you because small minds think in small ways. If I were a different person or in a really bad mood I would have taken that basket back to your car and picked it up and thrown it at you, but I try to be a nice person. I am not angry but just need clarification, I don’t understand people that do things like that. I don’t think you’re a bad person but I think if that behavior continues you stand a real good chance of meeting some nice guy on a day that he isn’t feeling so nice.

Love,
The Nice guy with a Smelly Finger