Pointy Mexican Boots Are Destroying America

I would like to put Mexican pointy boots in the same category as skinny jeans because I think they are both hilarious.  I cant do that.  The problem with skinny jeans is that I know many people that wear them and they are very cool people. Whenever I make jokes about skinny jeans they always point them out to me and we both laugh, that’s happened many times.  On the other hand I have never met a guy or girl wearing pointy Mexican boots that has ever even had a chuckle near me. 

I don’t understand this freakin style and it drives me crazy because it is socially unacceptable to go up to them to point and laugh.  It looks like a person with extremely large feet slammed into a wall at an extremely high speed and it bent his feet up. Then another person saw this persons new feet and thought, “I bet he doesn’t stub his toe on anything” and then he stole his shoes. And finally he got his newly stolen bent up shoes home, he made sure that no one else was home put one boot in the middle of the floor, double checked no one was home, took his pants off and then sat on the point of the boot.  That is the only logical reason I can come up with that a regular human being of sound mind and body would buy this ridiculous clown shoe, to placate some kind of weird anal fixation.

There are only two reasons to even wear boots, 1^st to ride horses and 2^nd because you have a job or living situation that brings danger to the lower parts of your legs. Like working in some kind of empty field where you could get bitten by a snake or spider.  Other than those 2 reasons there is no reason outside of vanity that you would wear boots.  And I am man enough to admit though that there are people that grow up out in the country and they still live on farms and ranches and just wear that clothes as a lifestyle, I understand that. 

This  pointy shoe doesn’t make any sense to me and gives me the urge to play horseshoes with their feet.

Creepy Chinese Fashion Strikes- The Facekini

There are a few reasons that China will never be like America and this is one of the biggest reasons. A complete lack of fashion sense that is so sad its hilarious. Don’t get me wrong I think China is an awesome place full of a great people and history but fashion has never been their strong suit.

China is responsible for some of the worst trends in the world like bootlegging electronics, lead in toys, and Jackie Chan movies…. I’m just kidding on that last one. But the worst thing that has ever come out of China since Sars is the Facekini. Such a hilariously creepy piece of dysfunctional clothing to keep swimmers and beach goers free from getting a tan or sunburned all while looking like a burn victim. I must say when China collectively looks through their year book 20 years from now the disbelief at what a mistake the face sock is going to shock them. Plus we already have this thing its called a ski mask, people use it to ski and rob liquor stores.

I want someone to tell me why in the world this would ever be considered fashionable. Is being pale seen as a good quality in China, its culture I guess but if that’s what you want then stay inside wear a hat and deal with it like the rest of us. There is no reason to go outside looking like a professional Mexican wrestler that is about to hold a childs cartoon at gunpoint.

I cant wait to see the effects of this mask. With only your eyes and mouth showing and your not going to be shy about being inside because the mask fixes everything, then tell me one thing, are the tan lines around your eyes and mouth helping bring in the dates. These people are going to look like they had an eyes and mouth donation from Brazil all the while thinking they look hot in their burn mask.

Hats off to you China, of all the things you have done this is definitely the funniest!