Your Not A Bully If You Don’t Start It- The Insult Jedi

Having the gift of insults is tricky. You can be called mean and a bully but having this gift is like being able to control The Force. It can be used for evil(or “the dark side”) or it can be mastered by a JedI but it all depends on how you use it.

Being a bully is giving someone trouble when they don’t ask for it and throwing your weight around only because you can. Just because your not doing physical harm doesn’t mean your not doing harm. Throwing around insults for no reason is a real douche thing to do. You can always tell who this guy is because they are always self important and doing their best to be an alpha male. More often than not they will be wearing one of those silly Affliction or Ed Hardy t-shirts and look like one of the guys from the Jersey Shore (douche bags). Very rarely are these bullies masters of the insult arts though. Their go to is usually going to be obvious like how fat or ugly you are, while those are always good fallbacks they should never be a real masters go to. The way a Sith lord will use Force Lightning is how Bullies use actual information from your life (if the bully is someone you know) like a divorce or an eviction, it’s a real low move but nothing is too low for a bully. If a Bully is a master of the insult arts then your just left with a real problem on your hands. This kind of person can reach into the shadows of a persons soul and pull out their inner most insecurities and put them on display in the museum of Laugh At You Until You Cry.

On the bright side there must be balance in the Force.

Its very easy to confuse a JedI insult master and a Sith insult master. If your watching from the outside all you see is two people in a heated insult battle that could make a normal person give up on life. JedI only use The Force for either self defense or the protection of others much the same as an insult master. The main difference is intent. There is no such thing as a well meaning person that just has to throw his weight around because he cant help it. A true master hones his skills by joking with friends and family but never pushing the limits or crossing the line. That’s how a master becomes a master is by being able to insult a person without truly offending them. He uses the verbal finesse of a poet and the hilarity of a comedian. Lots of people think they can be insult masters but only very few can reach the JedI Level of Mastery. JedI do not invoke Force lightning, its not because they cant but they wont. It’s a technique that is too low for a real JedI. I mean come on why should I only make fun of how ugly or fat you are when all the Bigfoot sightings around your house are because you like to go outside without a shirt. (it not only makes fun of hairiness but also height, foot size, and indirectly ugliness)

The ability to crush someone is intoxicating and smells of victory but should never be initiated by the master. Its not only the quick way down the path of being a butt hole but if your not tough it’s a good way to get beat up!