Getting Older Sucks

I would like to start by saying my birthday is tomorrow and my bday always makes me want to fight somebody. I’m going to be 28, its not that old but your 10 years away from 18 and 12 years away from 40. When you look at it like that makes you want to dig your heels in and fight it but time is like Mexican food it always catches up with you. I wish I was the kind of person that could just celebrate by getting drunk but I’m not, I’m the kind of person that is going to analyze every angle of it until I go crazy. My birthday is like a flashback episode of the last year of being me, except its not funny like tv its mostly just sad like the news. I’m not afraid of getting older but the thought of where I will be in 5 or 10 years really makes me nervous. Let me tell you why.

I recently, and by recently I mean last August, quit a job that I loved and had for 3 years with the county but I had been with the county for 5 or 6 years(I cant remember) and before that I was working part time at the job I most recently quit. Now I am unemployed on purpose but when you hold your future in your own hand and don’t hand it off to someone else it tends to makes you nervous. I like to think life is meant to be spent taking steps forward, but with this recent move it seems like a giant leap backwards.

I loved birthdays when I was a kid and there is almost nothing better in life than cake….. Mmmmm cake. But what are you really celebrating, a night when your parents had all the kids they wanted and destroyed that because they didn’t have cable….. Woo hoo lets party. Maybe we are celebrating the miracle of life that happens a bazillion times a day, I don’t know if something that happens that much is really a miracle. Is it Life that you celebrate when its your birthday, tell me if I’m mistaken but a great life is celebrated by just experiencing it, if someone has to stop your life to remind you to celebrate then its probably not that good. I’m probably just being bitter but Birthdays blow, Hard!