Comedy Heavyweights - Doug Stanhope



At this moment Doug Stanhope has 43,349 followers on Twitter. Dane Cook has 1,782,936 and this is I wrong I want to help right. Nothing against Dane Cook, he just another flavor of comedian but he’s a flavor that isn’t for me. Doug Stanhope is a level of genius that is almost like listening to Carlin. I would hate to say that his observations are witty but that would just make him just another comic, so I don’t think that’s what makes him great.

What makes Doug Stanhope good enough to make him a comedy heavyweight? Great art elicits an emotional response, a comedian elicits an emotional response, by way of laughter, and a great comedian controls your emotions like symphony orchestra conductor. Doug Stanhope is a master of emotional repulsion during laughing, its really hard to gross someone out and make them laugh about some of the worst subjects. A comedians goal is to make the worst subjects funny but when has Jeff Foxworthy talked about date rape or made a pro abortion argument. Doug Stanhope can talk about anything and because of his intelligence and wit. He has the ability to talk about the most socially repulsive subjects, like abortion, rape, and suicide, and at the same time he is FUNNY.

Ps. If Doug Stanhope ever reads this….. You’re the Man.

Doug Stanhope just recently had an album released in May called Oslo - Burning the Bridge to Nowhere. I give it 5 Smelly Fingers.

Honduran Job 3

Here is the 3rd strip of the web comic Honduran Job.  All the others are black and white so i figured I would stick with it.  Hope you enjoy it.

Imaginary Exploits of Social Deprivation- Cage Fighter part 2

I’m at home and my heart is still racing, partly because I ran but mainly the adrenaline is almost too much to handle. I realize why my coach put me in that fight that could not possibly win. He wanted to start me at the bottom so I could work harder to reach an almost impossible goal. I have felt the rush of fighting and the cage will not be enough to hold my energy next time.

I wake up with a burning desire to get in the cage, to book a fight, but there is nothing I can do now but train. My hand hurts every time I move my fingers but its nothing too bad. I make my way down to the gym and start training with hunger in my heart and determination in my spirit.

3 months later (the is where the montage of working out and really hard training comes in….. think of Rocky)

I’m finally ready for my first amateur fight. I’m backstage and I cant hear anything just the sound of my own breathe. My heart is pounding and I cant sit still, my coach motions to me that I’m up. I walk out to reveal myself to the crowd, I don’t look up and cheers or boos do not matter at this point. The cage sits in clarity amongst the blur of all things that cannot enter my mind. I’m in the cage bouncing from foot to foot looking at the environment I was born for. Vibrations from my opponents footsteps run through my toes out of the blurry fog of the crowd comes a crystal clear opponent into the cage.

Its him, the guy from the bar, I see his mouth is moving but I still cant hear anything. He keeps pointing at me then the floor, the referee steps in the middle of the cage and the first sound I hear is “FIGHT!!” He comes charging at me, jumps for a flying superman punch I duck under and falls into the cage. I close in on him but he keeps me away with his jab. Bam, bam, bam, 3 unanswered hits to the face and my nose starts bleeding. I throw 2 half hearted jabs and he throws up a counter hook so I throw a roundhouse kick to the side of his face…. We both connect. We both go down for a moment, after he is up he is visibly shaken so I push the pace. I close in with jabs, hooks, and crosses. I uppercut him and he falls against the cage I’m about to punch him but the ref grabs me and pulls me away. The fight is over and I win.

Beep. 5 minutes is up time to stop hitting the bag for 1 minute. The story continues during the next round. Until next time stay tuned.
　
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South Park - “Your Getting Old”

This episode was great, it touched on two subjects that I find very important in todays society. Moron Parents that don’t know how old they are and the completely cynical bastard that just has to destroy everything for everyone. Every now an then South Park has episodes like this one that just jump out at you because the show seems to get a little stale or complacent. I must say that this one really started to shake things up.

It all started with Stans Birthday, he got older and the hate for all things new kicked in when the hate for all things old should have gone away but didn’t. This thought, the person that hates everything and can let anyone enjoy anything at their core might be right but just hating everything is no way to live. I agree with the fact that sometimes you need to look through something to see its real effect but when you start doing that to everything you become the kind of person that needs to get hit by a car. Everything and everyone is full of crap that is a simple truth there is no debating that.

The dad in this episode is trying to show how young at heart he is but he doesn’t understand the music either. The writers hit this one right on the nose, dressing like an 18 year old over the age of about 35 begins to make you look like a douche. Trying to be something that you obviously don’t understand at such an older age is so sad but those guilty of this hilarious offense will never see themselves for what they really are….. Old.

I love this episode if you haven’t seen it, watch it.

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Imaginary Exploits of Social Deprivation- Cage Fighter part 1

As far back as I can remember I have loved kung fu movies and stuff like that. Fighting has always interested me and I have even taken a tae kwon do class or 2. It’s a very primal thing, the need to protect or even the need to take but the one that still exists is the need for social stature. Fighting comes with a certain social status, just look at all those guys in those goofy shirts nobody tells them anything for the fear that they might know how to fight.

I watch a lot of Ultimate Fighter, I personally think its one of the coolest shows ever. it’s a show about guys beating each other up…. What else do you need for something to be cool. It inspires me to hit my punching bag and as I start so does my Imaginary Exploit due to my Social Deprivation.

My hands are wrapped, I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth every time my fist hit’s the bag. Sweat drips off my hair and down my face. “Time” my coach yells. He throws a towel at me and tells me its time for some ring time. I turn and look, I’m in a massive training facility. I jog to the cage, I’m pumped about getting a chance to punch somebody in the face. I cant see who it is, it just looks like a shadow.

“whats up kid” the shadow seemed to growl.

“hello” the lump in my throat said

“I’m not pulling punches so you better be ready” he roared

“I’m ready when you are” in childish disbelief said.

DING. We start stepping toward each other and as he steps out of the shadow I can see that this guy is twice my size and all muscle. Each punch felt like a brick hitting me in the head. Instinct kicks in and I start bobbing and weaving I punch him in the nose, we pause while my boxing glove is still on his face and I see his eyes turn toward me. He unleashes his fury on me uppercut to the stomach, left to the face, and he picks me up gets a running start and drops me on my back. A towel lands on my face.

“you have a lot of heart kid, that took a lot longer than it should have.” he admitted

“thanks” is all the breath I had left to say.

I get to the locker room with my gym clothes and my pride in my gym bag. I stay focused on the fight I just lost, why would I lose that fight if I wasn’t good enough. I go to the nearest bar to drown my sorrows. Just as I open the door I bump it in to someone standing near the door. The guy is taller than me by about 6 inches. “watch you step junior” he said

“calm down redneck” I muttered back

“what did you say to me?” he huffed

Just as he was about to grab me I pushed him. His fist comes straight toward me and hits me in the mouth, I stumble back and realize that the pain doesn’t hurt in the heat of the moment. So I come back with a punch in the stomach and a right hook to the side of his head and he went down. He was out and the bartender was on the phone so I ran out of there as fast as I could run.

To be continued ….. Stay tuned
　
　

Lowriders of Death 2

I have never had the good times that I have had in my beloved 79 Buick Regal. This car was the cause of some of my greatest adventures. Being a backyard rig it up mechanic intensified the times of misfortune in my car. There is one lesson you must learn being a pathological switch hitting lowrider, never wear clothes that you don’t want to destroy.

One of my favorite stories doesn’t involve fire or terror but it makes me laugh when I think about it. I got my license at the age of 17 but it had restrictions and I practiced twice before I went and got it. Needless to say I didn’t know how to drive real well, I was working at the age of 16 and I got a car before I had a license. This created some problems when it came to dropping me off at work because I was in high school. My dad would drop me off all the time but after I got my car I would beg him to come get me in the lowrider.

This is also the time when I was learning how hydraulics worked and the ins and outs of hooking up a hydraulic system. I have this bad habit of finding things out the hard way. My hydraulic hoses were left just hanging when they were installed but I didn’t think much of it at the time, everything worked fine what could possibly go wrong. The hoses would drag on the ground when the car would sit too low but I didn’t drive it so what could happen in the back yard.

One day after work I called my dad to come pick me up and then I asked him if the car was working, he said it was so I asked him if he could bring it. After some haggling he agreed to drive the car to my job. As soon as he showed up everyone came out to see it. I picked up the switch box and gave my audience a show, front, back, side to side. As I was hitting the switch all of a sudden, “bzzzzzzzzz” and the left side of the car fell. At this point and time at its lowest the car would sit about 3 fingers off the ground. The sound was the left hose blowing open because the hoses were dragging for so long. I didn’t have a license so my dad would have to drive home which was on the other side of town. I lifted the other side of the car so the car wouldn’t be completely flat on the ground for the drive home.

The following drive home was full of awkward silences sprinkled between rants of “I Told You So” and burning stares of contempt as he glared up at me from the ground his side was stuck on. Hell, I love that story!

X-Men First Class- A Quick Review

The problems I had before are still the same problems but if there was something this movie showed is that this movie really isn’t about the students, its about the fathers of the mutant movements. I was pleasantly surprised with the quality of this movie, to be honest X-Men United was not so good a little too cartoony and compared to the other two just seemed kind of lacking and that made me afraid to watch this movie. The is a great movie but more than the acting the struggle between friends and ideals portrayed is amazing. What would you choose if you had to choose between a friend that’s as close as a brother and an ideal that could make the world a better place?

There is another dimension to this movie as well and that’s the struggle that every human has to endure and that is shown in two characters beast and mystique. These end up being the only two characters that hate their appearance which is something everyone goes through at some time or another and just a general need for acceptance. The X-Men have always been about social issues in our society and acceptance is a huge issue that affects all generations. I guess the X-Men just speaks to those of us that are “different.”

It was so cool to see the origins of Professor X and Erik Lensherr aka Magneto. When these two origins stories meet and the two of them become friends this movie takes a turn for the epic. The dynamic between these two is awesome and to know how good of friends they were is eye opening when they are also each others greatest enemies. Just might be one of the top 2 superhero movies EVER.

 This movie gets 5 Smelly Fingers and a “GO SEE THIS MOVIE ASAP!!!!!!!!”

Honduran Job - 2

Here is strip number two, the idea of a new character is introduced.  sorry this one is not in color either but I have been very busy and my internet keeps going down is why this is up monday insteat of saturday.
If you think you know who the characters are leave a comment ..... maybe your right, maybe not.

 If the image is too small just click on it, it should bring up a larger image.

Cartooning 101.2- The Mental Fun of Fundamentals

Lets get our supplies together first.
Pencil
Eraser
Paper
Well that was easy, who knew you could do so much with so little. Art is just self expression but like all structures you must begin with that first piece. All things are built out of shapes. The foundation of drawing a good structure is being aware of its shape. Lets start with something basic like a house or cabin, its shapes are real easy.

　

You see the use of the different rectangles used and the triangle for the roof, its really basic but even the details are basically the same. All it took were some basic shapes put together and there you have it a simple cartoon house.

Try this on your own take something simple like a house or a fence or even a chair( simple chair) and break it down to simple shapes then put them together to see if it looks similar to the original.

Stay tuned for more lessons coming soon.

Arizona to Start Accepting Applications for Medical Marijuana Dispensaries- Sounds Like A Trick

According to Guardian.co.uk Arizona is about to start accepting applications for medical marijuana dispensaries. This sounds like a desperate attempt to stabilize a weak economy that has favorable projection for the next 2 years but still not in population growth. Arizona is a state that is full of Hispanics/Mexicans or Latinos, whatever you want to call us there are a lot of us there. If I’m not mistaken even when a state decriminalizes medical marijuana it is still illegal on the federal level.

Here’s what I’m hinting at, the government of this state has not made it a secret that they see brown as the enemy and with the decriminalization of marijuana it seems like a trap. If this was a cartoon you could see a person with Arizona on his shirt digging a hole then covering it with leaves and twigs and putting a little bag of weed and a burrito on top. Honestly I mean they have the right to racially profile a “suspicious” looking person, aka if you look too Mexican(better leave the pancho at home), and now your going to have some weed on you. All they are going to have to do is turn you over to the right authorities and you just got busted for being Mexican on a federal charge. I’m not saying its going to happen but lets just say I wont be surprised.

My only advice when it comes to this is don’t stay in a state that doesn’t want you there. Screw those people and anyone that thinks like them….. Viva La Raza.