Smelly Finger Tshirts

Smelly Finger Tshirts
Be Funny

Friday, December 12, 2014

The Pizza Hut Doritos Crust- Best Thing Ever Or Destruction Of The World?

Maybe its because I’ve never been to New York but I love Pizza Hut pizza.  It does everything I need pizza to do, it tastes good, it makes me feel full and good, they support the Ninja Turtles and above all the other reasons it helps keep my feelings at bay.  Pizza Hut has done some amazing things with pizza like finding a way to inject more cheese into the crust.  Doritos have also done amazing things with chips when they introduced the world to the cool ranch Dorito.  But this unholy alliance can only wreak havoc on this planet which is why they are testing their unholy offspring in Australia known as the dorito crust.

On the bright side the combination of Pizza Hut and Doritos are being kept in Australia for the time being and not being unleashed on the world.  Logically there isn’t much difference to eating a slice of pizza with some chips and eating this unholy abomination of delicious ingredients.  It’s a lot like a plastic container and a microwave, there is nothing wrong with either of them but if you put a plastic container in a microwave the combination could kill you… eventually.  Just the thought of this thing makes me feel uneasy, like someone is trying to set me up for some kind of prank.

I would almost think that feeding your child this kind of thing could be seen as abuse.  Why not just put everything in a blender and let your kid eat his obesity thru a straw and suck down they calories, why waste any calories chewing because he’s gonna need those calories to develop diabetes. It’s a horrible horrible idea.

So keep your eyes open and mouths closed everybody, don’t be fooled by this demonic pizza!

Sunday, December 7, 2014

We Are Just Big Cell Phone Cases Now

I miss the days when technology wasn’t such a big part of our lives outside of tv and the remote control (spoken like a real old man, right).  I don’t mean that like the way an old man means that kind of thing, I only mean that in the way our cell phones have become our brains.  We no longer need to think because “theres an app for that” but that isn’t even what I’m complaining about this time. What I’m complaining about is a little piece of fashion that I ran across while surfing the net, it’s a jacket brought to us by our friends at Tommy Hilfiger that is supposed to charge your phone because it has solar panels on the back.

It is a neat idea the way a computer than can learn is a neat idea or like unicorns are a neat idea.  First of all it looks like something from Back To The Future 2 when shoes tightened themselves up, you wanna know why that was never invented because its useless. Shoes that tighten themselves is a neat idea but I have hands, on the other hand fat people would buy the hell out of some shoes that tighten themselves.  A solar panel sown onto clothes is a horrible solution to a minimal problem.  You can either buy this jacket or you can just remember to charge your cell phone.  None of us are really that busy, are we?  Its just weird to me to put so much emphasis on your cell phone that it even dictates your fashion choices like what matches my cell phone, what goes best with my cell phone.  Maybe this is about more than just cell phones and one day we can be our own power source to charge our cell phones, ipods, ipads, kindles, laptops, net books, ds, 3ds, psp, and Bluetooth headphones like a human power strip.

Wearing solar panels just seems dumb, I, as a person am more than a cell phone case. Why not just make something that can charge from body heat then I can just plug my cell into my bellybutton. 

Thursday, December 4, 2014 The New Website Is Up

Well ive been working on it for a while but the official website for Smelly Finger Tshirts is finally up.   I am so excited about finally having it live, its still a bit of a work in progress but its totally functional.  If you are unfamiliar with Smelly Finger Tshirts or even if you are super familiar with us I invite you to head on over to and take a tour of our new digs. 

I print all the shirts myself and I use great quality t-shirts and inks.  I have a blast designing the shirts and printing them, I never even thought I would ever be the guy that enjoyed his work.  But I do, it makes me feel good to know that I am making people smile or feel uncomfortable all over the world (I’ll take what I can get).

The reason I started making shirts is because first I love wearing weird and funny shirts but whenever I would go try and buy some they never had my size or I felt like the joke had been on a thousand other shirts.  I wanted something that was unique and funny with a slight offensive edge to it not some rip off of a rip off of a rip off (you get the point).  So I taught myself how to screen print on demand instead of having to create a huge inventory of untested shirts. 

I’m still figuring it out and doing it all myself so I need your help to get the word out (especially since I don’t know anything about internet marketing)!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Pointy Mexican Boots Are Destroying America

I would like to put Mexican pointy boots in the same category as skinny jeans because I think they are both hilarious.  I cant do that.  The problem with skinny jeans is that I know many people that wear them and they are very cool people. Whenever I make jokes about skinny jeans they always point them out to me and we both laugh, that’s happened many times.  On the other hand I have never met a guy or girl wearing pointy Mexican boots that has ever even had a chuckle near me. 

I don’t understand this freakin style and it drives me crazy because it is socially unacceptable to go up to them to point and laugh.  It looks like a person with extremely large feet slammed into a wall at an extremely high speed and it bent his feet up. Then another person saw this persons new feet and thought, “I bet he doesn’t stub his toe on anything” and then he stole his shoes. And finally he got his newly stolen bent up shoes home, he made sure that no one else was home put one boot in the middle of the floor, double checked no one was home, took his pants off and then sat on the point of the boot.  That is the only logical reason I can come up with that a regular human being of sound mind and body would buy this ridiculous clown shoe, to placate some kind of weird anal fixation.

There are only two reasons to even wear boots, 1st to ride horses and 2nd because you have a job or living situation that brings danger to the lower parts of your legs. Like working in some kind of empty field where you could get bitten by a snake or spider.  Other than those 2 reasons there is no reason outside of vanity that you would wear boots.  And I am man enough to admit though that there are people that grow up out in the country and they still live on farms and ranches and just wear that clothes as a lifestyle, I understand that. 

This  pointy shoe doesn’t make any sense to me and gives me the urge to play horseshoes with their feet.